I was reading through some Frost last night and came across a clever little poem.

Iota Subscript

Seek not in me the big I capital,
Not yet the little dotted in me seek.
If I have in me any I at all,
‘Tis the iota subscript of the Greek.

So small am I as an attention beggar.
The letter you will find me subscript to
Is neither alpha, eta, nor omega,
But upsilon which is the Greek for you.
– Robert Frost

In short, this poem represents Frost’s view of self, which is that of a servant, putting others above and before him. Good stuff.

(I feel very haughty and stuffy right now; mixing Robert Frost and a foreign language… please forgive me)

We’re coming up on the three year mark of announcing that I was going back to school.  This is my sixth semester at Dallas Christian College, and I have roughly three more after this one. By the time I’m done with DCC, I’ll have received my B.A. in Ministry in Leadership in a span of  5 years while maintaining a full time corporate job. I’m only missing graduating in the standard “four years” by one semester, and I will only have to take 2 (projected) classes in that last semester. I’ve had to sacrifice some things, and there certainly are times when my daughters probably want to punch me in the stomach, but for the most part I’ve maintained a balanced life. When I started this journey back in May ‘07, I had no clue where it was leading. It took me two years (going back to ‘05) of wrestling with the idea of school before I finally released myself to jump in. I felt like God was leading me to equip myself for His ministry and I realized that all I had ever done is try to do things my own way and it wasn’t working out. …

When I originally met with the admissions councilor I admitted that I wasn’t sure where I was heading, but I had some ideas based on previous ministry experience… Music ministry? Youth ministry? or even head up a church plant? “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Most students come in with one ministry in mind but end up in a completely different area. It’s not that they were wrong, God just has a funny way of showing us things bits and pieces at a time. You’ll figure it out while you’re here.”

For the first three semesters I prayed and discussed future ministry constantly. As early as my first semester I had a fleeting thought about a possibility… fleeting in the sense that I threw it out my mind pretty quickly. But with almost every biblical studies class (and even some basic classes such as World History 2), the thought reappeared. Soon I was connecting dots between past experiences, current passions, newfound interests, and scholastic feedback. This past August, I finally owned up to it.

Suddenly, though, I wasn’t the one asking the question. For 2 years I had somehow avoided answering the question that now seems to be on everyone’s lips “What are you going to school for?” Sure, I had to deal with the occasional inquiry, but up until then a simple answer stating my major seemed to suffice. As soon as I came to grips with where I think this journey is leading, everyone started wanting details…

… and so, here we are…

There are two places we’re going with this:

1) I hope to serve at a church as a role of a “Spiritual Formation Pastor.” Like most things in our faith, labels have multiple meanings and carry different connotations for everyone. In a nutshell I explain it as an upgraded Christian Education Pastor that focuses on all aspects of discipleship, not just “educating” people. I could unpack this at a much deeper level, and probably will as things move forward. But, for now, take it however you want…

2) I hope to serve as an Adjunct* professor at a undergrad program similar to what I am in now. I would love to serve at DCC, but I haven’t even approached that yet. Yes, this means at minimum I need to continue on and receive my Masters. I’m still not huge on sheets of paper that supposedly confirm my status in this world (i.e. – degrees), but if “Prof-ing” is part of what I want to do, then a grad degree is necessary. I stress Adjunct* because I do not (currently) care about being tenured. The goal is two fold: Primarily, it is to enable others in my situation (corporate world adults) who realize they want more out of life and ministry. Secondly, I hope to supplement my “church” salary so I am not tempted to chase the dollar in ministry.

If this was simply about church ministry, I don’t know that this is the path I’d be on. I am convinced that everything I am learning here I could technically learn on my own. If I have the honor of serving you in the future, you will not see degrees hanging on my office wall and I won’t ask anyone to call me Master… It’s just how this world turns, it’s a means to an ends… but it’s one that is well worth it. I’ve loved *almost* every minute, ever class, every discussion, and especially ever essay I’ve written to this point. I don’t expect that to change.

Maybe God is still only revealing pieces, but I feel pretty strongly about the direction this thing is going, and it’s so far beyond anything I would’ve tried on my own I can’t help but trust in the vision that God is working in me…

So… now that you know… what do you think?

The other night I watched an indie-film adaptation of the short story book Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, by David Foster Wallace. I know very little about the author other than what I’ve read from wikipedia, but the movie closes with one of his own quotes that I have been chewing on ever since:

The truth will set you free but not until it is done with you.

In my pursuit of spiritual freedom, I recognize that complete and perfect freedom is not obtainable overnight… we are pressing towards our completion, allowing God to transform our very being. This is where we find freedom, and how the truth ultimately sets us free.  What is perhaps most profound about this statement is the heaviness the man whom quoted it lived with. In 2008, at the age of 46, David Foster Wallace committed suicide. For David, there was no freedom from his internal depression; the emotional pain that tormented his soul won out over whatever truth had a hold of him. We could debate whether David allowed the Truth to enter his life or not… but I doubt any of us are in a position to have that discussion.

But it does beg the question: Am I letting the Truth hold me? Does the Truth penetrate my the depths of my soul in such a way that I allow Him to transform me?

My daughter writes the best essays for school… here’s the latest about her favorite season… (everything is [sic]… it’s hard to capture all the things that come across on a written essay, but i’ll try with formatting and smilies) The fourth paragraph is genius.

—-

Scream… It’s SUMMER!!!!!

Every time summer comes around I secretly jump for joy in my room. In fact, summer is my fav. season! It’s so fun! You know what? I’ll just tell you why and maby you’ll re-think what summer is to some people.

Summer is a cool season for 3 reasons. One of those is because there is NO SCHOOL! This means we get to play outside AND in. We can damage our brains with video-games and exsercise our body with bysicle riding and jumprope. We can also sleep with no school. And since we sleep all day, we can stay up all night! Awsome, right! Another choice to do other than school is watching T.V. and movies. Even though this also damages our brains, its fun! Wee could watch old movies and comedys, horror and fantasy, and almost anything you can think of! So…. COOOL!

Summer is awsome because every two years during August is… drum roll please… The Summer Olympics! Now, I know that you might not agree and I understand but with me its just awsome! The swimming is SO cool because swimming is fun and cool to watch. Gymnastics are really cool & awsome. I love the flips, turns, and rutines (this is a great way to watch T.V.). I love the diving too. I like this because I like stunts and people doing CRAZY things. So… AWSOME!

The “gradest” is the worst, but this is the greatest… We’re homework FREE!!! This means hours of FREE time to do anything in this essay… HOURS! This (ideas for teachers and anyone who works with the GISD) saves ALOT of trees! You always tell us to recycle, so we should have more summer! No homework is just so cool! It also gives teachers more weekend time because they don’t have to grade! (Teachers who are reading this, you should thank me for menchening it to you!). So… FUNN! (i spelled that wrong on purpose ).

Thanks for reading “Scream…It’s SUMMER!”

If you’re Buzzing, Tweeting, of FBing with me then you know today I posted about 35 pics and a video of our family fun during the biggest snow fall in Dallas / Ft Worth History (near 12 inches). But for those who aren’t social networkers (*ahem* all of dionna’s family pretty much *ahem*), you can see the pics here and watch the video below…

(Originally posted at MentorMeProject.com … Join the conversation, here or there)
In his book, In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day, Mark Batterson talks about recognizing opportunity around us by positioning our hearts and mind to look for it through prayer. He uses the psychological example of how we never realize how many Pontiac Grand Ams (fill in your car here) are on [...]

I lead a Life Group/Community Group/Home Cell/Cell Group/ Splinter Cell/Jihadist Group for our church called “Inhabited.” The vision is “to invite God’s transforming power into our lives through various forms of personal worship” and the focus is on spiritual formation.  Ultimately, the “various forms of personal worship” point towards how we approach our relationship with the Holy Spirit, thus much of it centers around our [...]

A really short film…
I did this right at 5 years ago, and posted it here almost 2 years ago, but it’s time to revisit it for reasons outlined below. Unshaved, unkempt hair, glasses instead of contacts, overacting, goofiness, etc… There ain’t no shame in my game!
We’re talking about sharing our faith in our church and I showed this to my pastor just for kicks… now, [...]

As of this morning, I am officially a contributor of a project that I believe is of the utmost importance: the MentorMeProject. Where God takes the project itself is yet to be seen; there is a great heart behind the vision, and great potential behind the purpose, but as with everything in today’s internet culture, you never really know the effectiveness until it gets rolling.
But [...]

I added a new page to my site. I know a lot of people just use readers these days, so I thought I’d officially “announce” it. The page explains itself for the most part. It has two sections: 1) Books I’m currently reading; 2) a rolling list of books I’ve finished in 2010. In section 2, the most recent book will always be on top, [...]