MentorMe: Open Eyes
January 29th, 2010 by Jaybrams
(Originally posted at MentorMeProject.com … Join the conversation, here or there)
In his book, In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day, Mark Batterson talks about recognizing opportunity around us by positioning our hearts and mind to look for it through prayer. He uses the psychological example of how we never realize how many Pontiac Grand Ams (fill in your car here) are on the road until we buy one. In the same way, until we’re consciously thinking about opportunities and asking God to open our eyes to opportunity, we likely won’t see the opportunity that is constantly around us.
For those of us following Christ, there are many opportunities we should pray for: Sharing our faith, speaking love into someone’s life, helping out someone in need, being Christ in an unexpected way… and, as you would expect to hear on MentorMe, yes even opportunities to journey with someone in discipleship. So if we want to reverse the trend of weak/extinct mentorship in the Body of Christ, the first things we all need to do is pray for opportunity. This cannot be stressed enough. Talking, blogging, commenting, and thinking about discipleship/mentorship will only take this generation so far. We have to see it as important enough to pray about it and own it enough to allow God to move us to action.
The MentorMe Project is unique in that we are hoping to use online technology as a medium to facilitate effective mentorship. Whether the end-relationship of what is produced through MentorMe is on- or off-line is of no consequence, but if we agree with the vision and the end-goal (developing disciples), there has to be some level of responsibility in our own offline lives. Some of us are comfortable with online relationships that produce good fruit but are hesitant to step out on a limb out in the real world. But we have to make discipleship (through means of mentoring in this case) a priority in our Christian lives. That said, I see three types of mentor relationships form that we can look to develop in the lives of those around us “in the real world” …
Traditional Mentorship: We know what this is, so there is no need for me to define it. I think we do get a bit confused between mentorship and “accountability partners” (which rarely work as we’ve instituted them). What is important in this style of mentoring is vision and understanding your role (two things I will talk about in an upcoming article). As far as opportunity is concerned, though, we need to look at those around us and find who it is that God is moving us towards. Maybe a young person in your church, maybe a new Christ follower, and so forth. There are many ways to approach this relationship, but keep Christ central and you will both grow from the relationship even if you are the one in the “mentor” position.
Equal-Opportunity Mentorship: For the last five years I have met almost every Saturday morning with a great friend. We have encouraged each other in our goals and visions for our lives, spurred each other in spiritual growth, and ultimately mentored each other. In some areas I have had the opportunity to speak into his life, and in others, he has been more qualified to lead me. We both have a healthy respect for each other’s authority in our lives. Honestly, all good* friends should have a level of this in their relationship, but it rarely happens. We tend to define “good friends” as those who share common interests and we hang out with the most. Honesty, Integrity, and the willingness to kick each other in the butt every now and then are marks of a potential Equal-Opportunity Mentorship.
Organic Mentorship: Something I learned as a young guitar player… “you’re always better than someone, and there is always someone better than you.” Why does that matter? Well, for one, i started making some money teaching beginner guitar at the age of 16. But, more importantly, the concept is the basis for Organic Mentorship. The idea is to open your eyes to life-lessons in the lives of those around you. Whoever lacks wisdom simply needs to ask for it… often the answer comes in the form of some random person giving us some random tidbit of advice and it sticking with us. I remember being 15 years old and taking up an offering in youth. I was pretty faithful in giving, so I naturally used a lot of “you guys need…” and “if you do this…” type of language. After the service, a adult leader told me that I do a great job and have a great message, but people will more willingly accept it if I change my “you(s)” to “we(s).” Something as simple as that has stuck with me throughout my ministry and career (and, btw, it works… esp. in a hostile work environment). It’s maybe the only thing this man taught me, but it was Organic Mentorship. Let me just add, don’t be annoying! I have known a couple of guys that tried to turn every single movie we saw into a life lesson about Christianity… We don’t really go to movies anymore. But if God has granted you guidance and wisdom in an area, don’t be afraid to show it… Become an organic mentor.
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I need to preface this review by saying I have never read a book from cover to cover about parenting, much less specifically about fatherhood. I’ve been a father for over ten years now, but I admit that I have much to learn. So why haven’t I read a parenting book up to this point? I dunno. Maybe pride, maybe because I’ve done a pretty decent job so far, maybe I just haven’t found the right books to keep my attention. In any case, I wanted to give this one a fair shot.
