Notebook
January 29th, 2010 by Jaybrams
(Originally posted at MentorMeProject.com … Join the conversation, here or there)

In his book, In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day, Mark Batterson talks about recognizing opportunity around us by positioning our hearts and mind to look for it through prayer. He uses the psychological example of how we never realize how many Pontiac Grand Ams (fill in your car here) are on the road until we buy one. In the same way, until we’re consciously thinking about opportunities and asking God to open our eyes to opportunity, we likely won’t see the opportunity that is constantly around us.

For those of us following Christ, there are many opportunities we should pray for: Sharing our faith, speaking love into someone’s life, helping out someone in need, being Christ in an unexpected way… and, as you would expect to hear on MentorMe, yes even opportunities to journey with someone in discipleship. So if we want to reverse the trend of weak/extinct mentorship in the Body of Christ, the first things we all need to do is pray for opportunity. This cannot be stressed enough. Talking, blogging, commenting, and thinking about discipleship/mentorship will only take this generation so far. We have to see it as important enough to pray about it and own it enough to allow God to move us to action.

The MentorMe Project is unique in that we are hoping to use online technology as a medium to facilitate effective mentorship. Whether the end-relationship of what is produced through MentorMe is on- or off-line is of no consequence, but if we agree with the vision and the end-goal (developing disciples), there has to be some level of responsibility in our own offline lives. Some of us are comfortable with online relationships that produce good fruit but are hesitant to step out on a limb out in the real world. But we have to make discipleship (through means of mentoring in this case) a priority in our Christian lives. That said, I see three types of mentor relationships form that we can look to develop in the lives of those around us “in the real world” …

Traditional Mentorship: We know what this is, so there is no need for me to define it. I think we do get a bit confused between mentorship and “accountability partners” (which rarely work as we’ve instituted them). What is important in this style of mentoring is vision and understanding your role (two things I will talk about in an upcoming article). As far as opportunity is concerned, though, we need to look at those around us and find who it is that God is moving us towards. Maybe a young person in your church, maybe a new Christ follower, and so forth. There are many ways to approach this relationship, but keep Christ central and you will both grow from the relationship even if you are the one in the “mentor” position.

Equal-Opportunity Mentorship: For the last five years I have met almost every Saturday morning with a great friend. We have encouraged each other in our goals and visions for our lives, spurred each other in spiritual growth, and ultimately mentored each other. In some areas I have had the opportunity to speak into his life, and in others, he has been more qualified to lead me. We both have a healthy respect for each other’s authority in our lives. Honestly, all good* friends should have a level of this in their relationship, but it rarely happens. We tend to define “good friends” as those who share common interests and we hang out with the most. Honesty, Integrity, and the willingness to kick each other in the butt every now and then are marks of a potential Equal-Opportunity Mentorship.

Organic Mentorship: Something I learned as a young guitar player… “you’re always better than someone, and there is always someone better than you.” Why does that matter? Well, for one, i started making some money teaching beginner guitar at the age of 16. But, more importantly, the concept is the basis for Organic Mentorship. The idea is to open your eyes to life-lessons in the lives of those around you. Whoever lacks wisdom simply needs to ask for it… often the answer comes in the form of some random person giving us some random tidbit of advice and it sticking with us. I remember being 15 years old and taking up an offering in youth. I was pretty faithful in giving, so I naturally used a lot of “you guys need…” and “if you do this…” type of language. After the service, a adult leader told me that I do a great job and have a great message, but people will more willingly accept it if I change my “you(s)” to “we(s).” Something as simple as that has stuck with me throughout my ministry and career (and, btw, it works… esp. in a hostile work environment). It’s maybe the only thing this man taught me, but it was Organic Mentorship. Let me just add, don’t be annoying! I have known a couple of guys that tried to turn every single movie we saw into a life lesson about Christianity… We don’t really go to movies anymore. But if God has granted you guidance and wisdom in an area, don’t be afraid to show it… Become an organic mentor.
January 25th, 2010 by Jaybrams

I lead a Life Group/Community Group/Home Cell/Cell Group/ Splinter Cell/Jihadist Group for our church called “Inhabited.” The vision is “to invite God’s transforming power into our lives through various forms of personal worship” and the focus is on spiritual formation.  Ultimately, the “various forms of personal worship” point towards how we approach our relationship with the Holy Spirit, thus much of it centers around our prayer life.

I’m going to start posting our notes. Of course, as a community group, much of our night is discussion driven, which is hard to capture by just copy-pasting our notes. I’ll interject some nuggets that sprinkled our discussion to at least sort of gives an idea of where we went (of course, nothing directly personal, just guide posts). This week was a discussion of relational honesty. The original idea has been working in me for a few weeks, but the current book I’m reading (Metamoprha / Kyl Strobel), provided much of the support and helped me round it out as a lesson. I’d love to continue the discussion here for anyone who wants to jump in, especially considering I may not always convey it correctly as i convert discussion based stuff to text.


Opening Verse
Search me, O God, and know my heart
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way of the everlasting
Daily Wisdom From Proverbs
Proverbs 23: Read / Respond (we start every session reading from “Today’s Proverb” as a warm up / discussion. I do not read it in advance, so it’s fresh for all of us.)
Hands On: Let’s Be Honest: What do we really believe?
For sake of discussion: Do I believe that God works in my life daily? (looking at some questions that we all affirm quite readily in our Christian faith, but do our actions and / or hearts really believe it or are we paying God lip service? We had some honest answers which highlighted how often what we know in our head doesn’t line up with what we feel in our heart.)
Can I have a real relationship with God?
Relational Honesty:
1) Honest with each other
2) Honest with yourself
* Third element in relationship with God *
3) Honest with yourself about what you honestly believe about God. (we tend treat our relationship with the Holy Spirit in such a way that would never be acceptable in any other relationships)
“Come as you are” – We do not have to sugar coat what we feel: (the phrase “come as you are” is not in the Bible… That’s right, Jesus never said it… but Kurt Cobain did. I do, however, believe strongly that the concept is all throughout scripture and Jesus’ life)
Matthew 11:28-30
“Church is not a hotel for saints, but a hospital for sinners”
Matthew 9:9-13
(if we know and believe this, why do we feel the need to offer half-truths and watered down honesty? For example, how often do we straight up tell God we’re ticked off at him? Rather we say that we’re angry at a situation and do not understand why God would allow it… often, though, we’re hiding much more passionate, deep-rooted frustrations TOWARDS God. We’re afraid of being irreverent, which is a valid concern in many situations, but if it causes us to suppress our honest thoughts, than we lack integrity and we harbor frustration rather than facilitate growth.)

We must be willing to have our beliefs de-constructed by God so that His Spirit within us can transform us into His image. We must examine our actions to see if we really believe what we claim to believe. We must be honest with ourselves about how we feel about God… and not just pay Him lip service:
Do I really believe … (potential action markers to know if we really believe it)
God works in my life daily? (internal thing, search your heart)
prayer works? (how often do i pray?)
God even cares about me specifically? (internal thing, search your heart)
there are any real consequence to my sin? (do I allow certain sins to continue in my life? it’s important to note here that the eternal consequence of our sin has been erased, but if that meant we had a free-for-all on living in sin than the New Testament wouldn’t talk so much about righteousness and finding freedom from sin. See Romans 6-8 for more discussion about this)
God changes me? (or do i continually try to change myself without seeking his guidance)
Jesus is my model to follow as a man? (do i know anything about Jesus other than what I’ve heard? have i even attempted to model his life? What do i believe about Jesus that may not have any scriptural background?… Another great point from Metamorpha is our inability to see God as fully man. We had a nice discussion on the implications of this thought.)
the Bible speaks life into mine? (how often do i read and let it read me?)
Our journey will probably have to look much like the psalmists’, who often cried out to God with utmost honesty about their inability to find Him near. Our honesty will be the place where God teaches us humility, trust, and how to really be loved. I have found in my own life that the Spirit longs for me to come to Him as I honestly am, with what is really going on inside of me and how I actually see the world. When I do, he takes me and shows me how little I understand and how much he has to teach me. – Kyle Stobel, Metamorpha
(At this point, I asked everyone to pick a psalm below or question above and get brutally honest with yourself and then brutally honest with God. When we face our shortcomings and dark corners, God is faithful to bring change into our lives)
Ps 13: God doesn’t care
Ps 22: God has abandoned me
Ps 38: I’m at the end of my rope
Ps 42: Depression weighs me down
Ps 44: I don’t deserve this
Ps 73: Following You is vain
January 22nd, 2010 by Jaybrams

A really short film…

I did this right at 5 years ago, and posted it here almost 2 years ago, but it’s time to revisit it for reasons outlined below. Unshaved, unkempt hair, glasses instead of contacts, overacting, goofiness, etc… There ain’t no shame in my game!

We’re talking about sharing our faith in our church and I showed this to my pastor just for kicks… now, just for kicks, he’s showing it at church this Sunday (the high quality version without credits, that is)… I’m not sure if i should laugh or cry about it being shown to a bunch of people that have never seen me like this… but the video still makes me laugh. Enjoy:

January 14th, 2010 by Jaybrams

As of this morning, I am officially a contributor of a project that I believe is of the utmost importance: the MentorMeProject. Where God takes the project itself is yet to be seen; there is a great heart behind the vision, and great potential behind the purpose, but as with everything in today’s internet culture, you never really know the effectiveness until it gets rolling.

But you cannot deny the need… consider an excerpt from “The DREAM” page:

The simple part is saying these words, the difficult part is putting these words into action.
Generation X (ages 27-41) and Y (ages 9-26) are called the connected generation. But more and more people are becoming disconnected and looking to connect.

Why do people consider these two generations connected? Because they have unlimited amounts of information? Because they have constant access to anyone? These two could be true on the surface, but serve as a poor way of being connected. There needs to be a redefinition of a connected generation before we move forward and connect with others.

We all can attest to the truth in the statements above. We are far more “connected” now than we have ever been, but to what level exactly are we connected? We have weaved a web that demands connectedness and community but forgotten at the core why community is so important. I am glad to partner and contribute along side of Kyle in his quest to see authentic, mentor-style relations borne out of the technology that is so readily available at our fingertips. The question is, can we move it beyond the web? Can we use the technology as a launching pad for something real and deeper? Perhaps…

So, read my post here, and join the conversation.

January 13th, 2010 by Jaybrams

I added a new page to my site. I know a lot of people just use readers these days, so I thought I’d officially “announce” it. The page explains itself for the most part. It has two sections: 1) Books I’m currently reading; 2) a rolling list of books I’ve finished in 2010. In section 2, the most recent book will always be on top, but I am keeping them numbered as well. In currently reading, I will have no more than TWO books listed for personal reading, plus whatever books I know I have to read cover to cover for school. School textbooks that will not require exhaustive reading will not be listed. For example, in Synoptic Gospels, one required text is A Dictionary of Jesus and the Gospels. It is a reference book with 900 pages of various articles. I know we are not going to read many of them, so I’m not counting that as a “reading” or ”completed” book in 2010.

The other books will fall into several categories: Spiritual Formation, Memoirs/Story Telling, Ministry, Vision Casting, General Christian Living, Leadership, and so on. I want to focus on the books that I think will enhance the vision for ministry that God is working/transforming in my heart. Maybe, just maybe, you can start to get a clue as to what that is by watching what I’m reading…

I finished three books in the first 10 days of 2010. At that rate, I’ll read roughly 110 books this year… NOT GONNA HAPPEN! I knew school was starting up so I kicked it into gear to read a few that were sitting on my “to read” shelf, but I do hope to continue a trend I implemented midway through November… very little TV, very little Xbox360, very much purposeful personal/familial growth in the evenings. If I had to set a goal, I am still hoping for a rate of one book per week. But I have yet to see how much time I will need to focus on school work, so it may end up at even a much lower rate than that.

January 12th, 2010 by Jaybrams

I need to preface this review by saying I have never read a book from cover to cover about parenting, much less specifically about fatherhood. I’ve been a father for over ten years now, but I admit that I have much to learn. So why haven’t I read a parenting book up to this point? I dunno. Maybe pride, maybe because I’ve done a pretty decent job so far, maybe I just haven’t found the right books to keep my attention. In any case, I wanted to give this one a fair shot.

The central concept of Influence Of A Father is the idea of transference: You can’t give away that which you do not have. As such, Tom focuses each chapter on two ideas. First, do you, the reader/father, own, practice, and reflect the Biblical value discussed in chapter; and second, once you do, how can you and why should you transfer it to your children.  This does open the door for some very base level discussions about values that I already hold to in my life. As such, I found myself skimming parts of some chapters that dealt with the heart of the reader rather than the art of transference. For this same reason, I barely touched the “Concluding Thoughts” at the end of each chapter, a two paragraph section focusing on self-evaluation questions.

This isn’t to say I skimmed parts of EVERY chapter; indeed, many of the values I thought I held were challenged and enhanced through this book. The three chapter section on Discipline, a subject I felt I have handled consistently and fairly throughout the years, illuminated areas within my disciplinary values that I had never thought through. Am I disciplining for the here and now only? or to instill life long values in my children? I hope the purpose is long term, but I also see definite times where the only thing I care about is getting the here and now controlled. While that is natural, it also opens the door for me to discipline when discipline is not really in order, or worse, to discipline without teaching and helping my children avoid mistakes in the future.

Other highlights include and outstanding chapter on mentoring and the role it plays in fathering. The wisdom in this chapter transcends fatherhood and can apply to any mentor relationship. Tom also provides a breakdown of unhealthy tendencies that fathers often embrace, how to find strength through partnership with your wife, and even what to do when kids go rogue (a discussion of the Prodigal Son parable).

From a standpoint of style, it is pretty predictable. Stories of his own childhood and fatherhood highlight his points, while scripture peppers the meat of his discussions. Tom is both straightforward and compassionate, understanding that fatherhood is a difficult task that many of us don’t feel up for, but he refuses to back down due to the heaviness our influence carries. All in all, it was a great read for me. I’m not too far along where I am set in my ways, and my eldest is not too far developed for me to fix some of the subtle things that I would like to do better. Besides, I still have two that are 5 or younger, and at least one more in the plans. My hope and prayer is that God will continue to impart wisdom into my life in order to see my children grow into the adults God desires them to be… God knows I can’t do it on my own!

Bottom Line: 4 out of 5 stars for content and usability.

January 7th, 2010 by Jaybrams

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T-Minus 5 Days until my 6th semester at Dallas Christian College takes off. Last semester had its highs and lows, with Life Science owning the lowest of low spots in the entire 2.5 years I’ve been at this. I am done with basics, only Major courses, Biblical Core, and Electives left. Here’s the lineup and commentary for the semester:

Greek I: Jan 11 – April 12 (Campus) - Major Requirement: Getting my Greek on! Here’s the problem with ministers who learn the languages: Unless you become a true scholar of the language, you only learn enough to sound smart in your sermons/lessons. Despite our familiarity with the phrase we hear uttered from the pulpit “the original Greek manuscript actually says…”, how many of us can remember any of those words or the point of the speaker. Let’s see… “agape” and maybe the other Greek words for love (eros, phileo)… I know a few more like “ekklesia” (church/gathering) and “kononia” (community), but that’s it. For me, I just want to know enough for my personal studies to where I can see subtleties in the language that may cause me to pause and say “alright, lets turn to the experts and see what they have to say.” I have a really good example of this, but it’d take a whole post to explain… maybe later.

Synoptic Gospels: Jan 15 – March 4 (Online) - Biblical Core: I was actually thinking last night about how much I want to go through the Gospels and dig into the actions of Christ in a deeper manner. He is my Rabbi, and I want his dust to cover me. I am still going to do this on my own, but having a class like the Synoptic Gospels will also give me an avenue to bring my personal study to a discussion setting. I haven’t seen the syllabus yet so this class may focus more on the three synoptic Gospels from a comparison/contrast point of view. In any case, more Jesus=good times.

Group Leadership: March 5 – April 29 (Online) - Major Requirement: No idea what I’m getting into here, but should be helpful for my long term ministry vision and life at work even. Good times…

Interpretation of the Old Testament: April 30 – June  17 (Online) - Biblical Core: Again, not sure what depth we’re going to get into this. It should be interesting because these are the types of things that can ruin a guy. In “bible school” and seminary, our championed approach to the Bible is very mechanical and scholarly. As such, we tend to downplay the experiential side of our faith. We have to be careful to find a balance. The scholarly approach is helpful, but if I live and die by it, my faith (which is hopefully vibrant and alive) may follow suit and become mechanical. That said, I know I miss tons of OT references when I read the NT, so I’d like to learn how to recognize those things more readily. I think this class will help.

Evangelism: April 30 – June 17 (Online) - Major Requirement: This is a timely class. I just finished one book on evangelism and one of the main focuses of 2010 for our church is going to be effective evangelism… -Of course that should always be in the scope of focus of a church, but hey, we need to reevaluate our approach this year-… One of the key elements about evangelism is understanding the purpose: to further the Kingdom by making disciples… not converts. I’ll be interested to see how this class handles our ever changing culture. Handing out tracts hasn’t worked for 35 years, but people still do it…

So there ya go. Send money…

*******************************
STATS:
General Core Semester Credits: 0
Major/Bible Core Semester Credits: 15
Elective Semester Credits: 0
Total Semester Credits: 15

General Core Credits Complete: 39 of 39 (100%) – W007! W007!
Major/Bible Core Credits Complete: 21 of 66 (32%)
Elective Credits Complete: 8 of 24 (33%)
Total Credits: 68 of 129 (53%)

January 5th, 2010 by Jaybrams

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Back in May, I posted about Freedom and how our definition of it is a little off-kilter, at least as it relates to our Spiritual Freedom in Christ. An opportunity to preach at our church presented itself last month, and after brainstorming with the Pastor, we decided to run with a sermonized version of the Freedom by Design post.

Converting it to a message was fairly straightforward for me because it’s something that is important to me. I really do think that our faulty definition of freedom keeps us from enjoying true freedom in Christ. But it’s also a subject that could take several paths, which you generally want to avoid in a one-shot sermon. So if you want to hear a more focused message piggy-backed off the original post,  take a listen…

Discover Simple, Private Sharing at Drop.io

It’s been 4 years, almost to the day that I last preached in a Sunday service. From a delivery standpoint, I felt pretty comfortable and not too anxious at all. I did leave my bottled water on my seat, which usually serves two purposes for me: 1) pace. If i take a drink, it forces me to shut up. and 2) dry mouth, of course.  So, i did have to deal with that, but it wasn’t too much of a distraction. The opening is a short clip from Braveheart, but the only other thing that doesn’t transfer well to MP3 is one of my main illustrations when I chain up our pastor, so use your imagination.

You can DL the MP3 and/or follow along with the presentation if you’d rather listen offline. I’d love to hear from you.

January 4th, 2010 by Jaybrams

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… or is it?

eFriends Blake and Rick recently did a mind dump/resolution list for 2010.  I guess i’ll kick off my blog again in the same manner…

I’ve become a goal/vision oriented guy; I like spontaneity, and I hate scheduling certain aspects of my life, but I’ve realized that purpose drives action.  I am constantly re-evaluating where I am and where I am going. I hope (and try) to keep Christ at the center of both of those areas. I’ve targeted three high-level areas to focus on in 2010. Each area will in turn have several smaller areas of focus. Here are those three areas and where I’m currently at with each:

Health - This is where the “Same Ol’ Song and Dance” comes from. I can’t shake this one off the list. I need “Fat Rehab for Fat People who Aren’t Lazy But Just Never Work Out or Eat Right”… There is hope, though. Last year during a two month span I indeed lost 13 lbs (most of which I kept off). I know how I did it, and I have already re-implemented the plan.  This will again probably be a thorn in my side and a source of frustration… and as cliche as this is in the area of “resolutions,” I don’t want to look back 10 years from now and still dance right along to this same music.

Family - My first ministry is to my family. Of my three daughters, one is old enough to understand and live out the core of our faith as Christ followers. I want to foster growth and wisdom in her life. I want her to learn to tap into the spirit of generosity and love that God has woven into her very being. I will do this a variety of ways, but primarily through consistent study of scripture along side of her. This week, we will finish our study of Philippians.

We have also, as a family, started reading Bible stories together for the purpose of giving our middle daughter (who is five) a better understanding of why we are who we are and what God has to do with it all. I want to make sure that I do not ignore her needs as a young child simply because she can’t quite grasp as much as I want her too.

For both of these girls (and eventually the third when she is older, but not during 2010), I have had a standing goal of “dating my daughters” for several months now. I plan on making this a normal part of our lives.

For my wife, I want to see us grow together spiritually. Even after 10 years of marriage, we have so much to learn about each other. I want us to embrace God’s plan for our lives by responsibly cultivating our relationship with Him (together and individually), as well as through the constant sharpening of the gifts He has so graciously given us.  On an equally important note, I want to show her how much I cherish her. I think I fail to do this far too often.

Ministry Vision - I am a believer in Missional Living. Our design and identity as Christians is our design and identity at all times, regardless of situation, vocation, or church standing. It befits us to keep the Kingdom perspective at the forefront of our thoughts; we are created as vessels for Christ in the Kingdom of God (Eph 2:10).  It is God’s work in us, but we must be willing vessels. I want to make sure that my heart is soft and my spirit is willing to allow God to transform me into the specific vessel that He wants me to be in all areas of my life. I have a long way to go…

That said, I do feel strongly that the specific vision for ministry that He has placed on my heart will eventually lead me into a vocational ministry (honestly, I doubt I’d pay for an education in my field of study if I didn’t believe this). Until recently, the vision was muddy. Over the last few weeks, though, a specific sense of clarity and direction has flooded my heart. 2010 is a year to define, develop, and even implement part of this vision.

The rest of the story - Both within and outside of the context of the above areas, I have several other mind-trinkets I want to pursue and/or expand: Reading, writing, enabling, training, teaching, stretching, and so on…

All in all, I am honestly pumped for 2010. I feel more focused than I remember feeling in the past. I know I will go through peaks and valleys, but my trust and strength is in Christ. In fact, I know from my own personal history that if I put my trust and strength in me, I would have nothing to be pumped about… So, let’s enjoy the ride and see God work wonders in 2010.

November 19th, 2009 by Jaybrams

It’s been several months, but I’m not dead yet (blogging wise) … rethinking / refreshing / refocusing … It’s cyclical, so I know i’ll be back soon.

Until then, I use this station when I write heavy finals papers and when I want to pray / focus on God. You should to: Instrumental “Post-Rock”