Notebook
December 29th, 2008 by Jaybrams

With the announcement of our third and the revelation of her gender, the sarcastic, witty, funny, snide remarks were inevitable. You know… how sorry people are for me and how much estrogen I’ll be around; how I’ll need my own private get away and how I’ll need to learn to get ready without the convenience of a bathroom; that I need to start saving for weddings now… … Perhaps the best, from the sheer originality, irony, and oxy-moronic nature of the comment, was the observation that I must have “girly sperm … which may or may not be true, but not sure if that’s the proper medical term.

And then the question: “Are you disappointed?” … I’m supposed to say “No.” I’m supposed to say “as long as she’s happy and healthy” (which I’ve always been perplexed at… even if she’s not healthy, i’ll still love her to death). I’ve struggled with how to answer the question. People don’t really want a long monologue on the subject (which is what you’re getting here), they just want to see if I have the guts to say that I’m disappointed. So, I’ll admit it. I want a son. But when the sonographer told us we needed to start working on girl names -which we still can’t agree on- “disappointed” would not be an accurate description of any of my emotions. Of course, at a minimum, we plan on having at least one more, so I’m sure that plays into it.

But the whole process -from the time we started talking about having a third until we found out for sure it was a girl- has given me pause and inspired me to think quite a bit on the subject of Fatherhood and Daughters; after all, if my witty friend is right, even if I have five children they will all be female anyway.

“Disappointed” is no longer even in the dialog of emotions concerning the onslaught of estrogen in our house, whether we stop at three or double up and go for six. Better yet, I have my answer to the question everyone seems to ask, and the answer focuses on one word:

Opportunity”

Have you seen the mind-numbing stats about children who grow up without good, strong father-figures in their lives? Even if the dad lives at home yet is disconnected from his children’s lives (or worse, straight up abusive), they are far more likely to end up in a mess of trouble. Whether it’s drugs/alcohol, suicide, runaways, crime, or sexual promiscuity, kid’s without dads tend to struggle. When you factor only the daughters, the stats are even more heartbreaking (check this song and lyrics for one artist’s thoughts on the matter)

I’m not a fan of giving people free passes because of their upbringing, but I am a fan of understanding where someone came from and realizing that environment does attribute at least a portion of the products we become, good and bad. Yes, at some point you have to take control of your own life and quit looking for excuses. We’re all statistics in some way or another, it’s just a matter of what type of statistic you choose to become. Statistically speaking, my marriage shouldn’t have made it even this far. On top of the normal divorce rate, we were both teenagers, she was pregnant before we were engaged, and at the time of our marriage, we were snuggly in the official poverty class of America. But here we are, nearly a decade in and going strong. We’re still a stat, just on the good side of things.

Unfortunately stats and trends don’t lie, and my heart often breaks for girls who grow up without fathers … perhaps that’s why I married one. So presented with the facts, I don’t feel disappointment when it comes to having more girls. I see opportunity. The opportunity to impart life into girls who I hope will grow up learning how to reverse trends… Trends that their friends at school who lack a strong father-figures may fall into. Perhaps, by the grace of God and whatever wisdom He chooses to impart through me, they can pick their friends up and say “you know, you don’t have to fall on this side of the statistic, let me show you a Father who can teach you how to live a fulfilled life without all of this junk.” All the while pointing at their Father God, not their father Jeremy.

Do I think I’m a strong father-figure?… no, not always. I know the road is long, and I’ll (continue to) make plenty of mistakes as a father. Hopefully, though, through God’s guidance I will grow as a dad and be the earthly father figure they need to reflect God’s Fatherhood. It’s a challenge. I won’t lie to you, i’m not always up for a good challenge. In fact, most of the time i’d rather have it easy. But this is a challenge worth fighting for.

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December 19th, 2008 by Jaybrams

* Texas weather is always interesting. But come Sunday, this will officially be the craziest 8 days of weather I have ever experienced:
- Sunday, 14th: Sunny and 70 degrees.
- Monday, 15th: Freezing rain, icy roads starting around 6 PM and about a 40 degree swing
- Tuesday, 16th: Ice remains, some icy mist/fog, even slight bit of snow. Hovers around 30 all day
- Wednesday, 17th: The warm-up begins, 25 degree swing.
- Thursday, 18th: High of 65, and by far the thickest fog I’ve ever been in… lasting ALL DAY (more on that in a minute).
- Friday, 19th: Fog starting to subside, high of 71.
- Saturday, 20th: High of 75, low of 31… 44 degrees, in one day.
- Sunday, 21st: High of 42, a 33 degree swing of “highs”

Oh, by the way, Christmas: Mostly Sunny, mid-60s. … Just ridiculous.

* I really dig fog. I know a lot of people don’t like it. It does make it hard to see, everything gets kinda moist, it’s hard to keep your windows defrosted and all that mess… But I enjoy the mystery of it i think. The fog yesterday was so thick you couldn’t read billboards on the side of the road. Thankfully, unlike with the ice, drivers were cautious enough and there were no big issues. Am I alone in this?

* It’s great to watch moms Christmas shop with their kids, especially moms shopping with tween/teen girls (10-15). Upon entry, both mom and daughter are excited, though the twinkle you see in Mom’s eye has a hint of caution. Upon check out, mom and daughter are both huffing at each other and the twinkle of the eyes has been replaced by the rolling of the eyes in both sets of eyes.

* I think the 5 years of dirt build up on my car is starting to cause my lights to look quite dim. I’m pretty sure it’s been five years since i washed it… but that’s okay. The neighbors across the street make up for it by washing their cars every weekend, regardless of weather.

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December 15th, 2008 by Jaybrams

Back to the very exciting John, Logos, and Postmodernism discussion later this week. But today is a light day. In T-minus 8 hours (probably more like 7), I will have finished my 3rd semester working towards my Ministry and Leadership degree (i.e. - generic Christian degree similar to the generic ‘business’ degree at normal colleges). I finished up my final paper on Jude last night, and have a presentation on Jude (go figure) this evening and then it’s free reign for about… oh… 3 weeks or so.

Unfortunately the holidays and finishing up this class … okay and general slacking have got me a bit behind on my reading plan. But the good news is I have a couple of books in the wings for these three weeks, one of which aided in sparking the previously mentioned Logos discussion. I’m certain you are all looking forward to more of that (:wide eyed:)

Next semester looks like this:

PSYC-1320 General Psychology - Jan 5th - Feb 16 (online)
HIST-3311 History of Christianity - Jan 19 - March 8 (campus)
MINL-2310 Biblical Communication Seminar I - March 13 - May 7 (campus)
PHIL-3320 Introduction to Philosophy - April 13 - May 18 (online)
HIST-3320 American Christianity - May 4 - June 21 (campus)

So in general, i guess that means i’ll be able to communicate the philopshy, psychology, and history of Christianity to you or some such… but more importantly it means come June, i’m done with 99% of my basics, leaving only “Life Science” … which I’m a bit confused on the topic covered in that class. Also, this is my first time over 12 hours… time to start kickin’ as quick as possible.

I used to be anti-christian “higher education” … maybe I should explain that one day, but my wife still wants the fatherhood post. And before I start rambling, i’ll sign off for the day.

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December 12th, 2008 by Jaybrams

“This just isn’t going to cut it tonight!” With all the strength her feeble arms could muster, Joy hoisted her scrawny frame off the cardboard box which had doubled as a bed for the last nine months. The makeshift mattress was not particularly comfortable; it initially served her well during the early spring months when cool nights collide with warm sunrises dampening the soft grassy areas generally ideal for those who share Joy’s humble position. Though farm animals, dogs, and beggars alike battle with morning dew, the latter group faces the unique plight of needing dry clothes throughout the night and into the next day, thus cardboard boxes are a commodity among Joy’s community.

Well after the spring dew ceased troubling Joy, the box remained faithfully in her possession as an item of internal comfort. Much like a baby incessantly sucks his thumb ignoring its best uses – by means of ignorance rather than rebellion – Joy instinctively disregarded the intended use of the broken down box and instead discovered practical applications for her every day life. As the seasons cycled, it provided shade from scorching sun, privacy from her displaced neighbors, and once again protected herself from the dew during the late fall months. Nevertheless, tonight her provisional security blanket provided little protection from the dark and frigid November air.

“Maybe the shelter’s open… probly no beds, though. Good people… too crowded for my comforts.” Mumbling became an every-waking-moment type of activity as Joy subconsciously held to the ever-fading truth that she does indeed belong to the class of animal separated from all others by its ability to reason, love, and speak. Yet she rarely felt human anymore; love and reason existed only in the whispers of her ever-dimming mind. Though she had lived on these same streets for the past nine months, her interactions with other homeless remained limited to her occasional visits to the local food pantry or when an over aggressive male –spurred by excessive alcohol and bitter memories of failed marriages and shoddy business endeavors – felt the need to exert dominion over his small piece of territory that Joy happened to wander through… … …

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December 10th, 2008 by Jaybrams

(printer material if you don’t like reading a screen for long periods of time)

I am a firm believer in two almost conflicting things when it comes to Bible study:

1) Anyone can pick up the Word of God and understand the vast majority of it to the point of living a fulfilled and Christ-centered faithful life without the aide of any study Bibles, commentaries, lexicons, or original language understanding. The parts which are difficult to understand even in our native tongues are not salvation nor sanctification significant.

2) However, learning to look through the eyes of the culture at the time provides an immense amount of insight and application for the here and now. The great thing is you do not have to be a scholar to learn these things, you only need to be scholarly in the sense of developing your desire to continually learn and your willingness to read or listen to the resources available.

Recently I started attending the men’s Bible study at New Horizon Vineyard (aka Church #4). We are diving into the book of John, and the discussion last week revolved around the prologue (John 1:1-18) and John’s clever use of the Greek word “logos” which translates to “word” in English: In the beginning was the logos, and the logos was with God, and the logos was God… and so on.

The whole concept of Logos is one of those areas that nicely illustrates what I mean. We successfully wrap our 21st century English speaking heads around Jesus being compared to the Word because we come to accept the Word of God (scripture) as God-Breathed. When the “Word becomes flesh” (v14) we clearly see that the Christ is the complete representation and fulfillment of the scriptures which has been around since the foundations were laid (v3), i.e. - God (which is also significant for our trinity doctrine). We see this type of play on words in our literature from the time we’re in elementary school in the form of metaphor. The theology that the prologue represents in English is solid, thus validating assessment #1 above.

Logos, however, reveals much more than our metaphoric understanding of the passage when we look through the lens of John’s culture. Understanding why the use of logos was such a genius move on John’s part will do nothing to enhance your theology or help you walk faithfully with Christ, but it can complement the application of your theology in everyday life (i’m growing tired of using the word “theology” in this post, but thesaurus.com doesn’t have any alternate entries and “world view” doesn’t really capture the right essence… anyway, i digress…).

The concept of logos in 1st century Rome transcended the various cultures represented during that time. The Jewish significance is similar to our metaphoric understanding, minus the emphasis on Jesus. The Word was God’s form of communication with His chosen people (the Jews), not only through the Mosaic Law and prophets, but as the creative force behind God’s will (see Genesis creation story, which I know wasn’t written in Greek, but the concept is the same).

Furthermore, logos had strong implications in the Greek-Stoic culture in which it represented the “principle of divine reason” (New Bible Commentary), that is the creative and natural force behind everything that existed. In effect, John unequivocally stated that Christ IS God (and therefore the Messiah) to his Jewish readers and Christ IS the essence of all divine reason which brings life into existence to the Greeks.

He was not supporting or even supplementing the philosophical views of the day, rather he was using his audiences’ philosophy to bring them to a deeper understanding of what he (and I) believed to be truth (similar to Paul’s “To an Unknown god” message in Athens: Acts 17).

Because of the Greco-Roman influence on the entire “civilized” world during this era, the significant fingers of logos undoubtedly stretched beyond just John’s immediate audience (Jews and Greek-culture gentiles). His word choice, then, is more than just a metaphor, it galvanized his audience and prepared them for a response to the purpose of his gospel, so that they “may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God” (20:31).

In such a self-proclaimed evangelistic piece, it was important for John to capture his audience from the beginning and and establish Christ as the focal point of truth. Logos certainly provided such an avenue. It’s remissive if I fail to note that logos isn’t the only culturally transcending term John uses throughout his gospel (light and darkness are other examples in the prologue), but logos is generally considered the most significant of the bunch.

None of this should affect your theology in any significant manner, but it does bring up an interesting question which was raised in the bible study and which I pose to you now (if you made it this far): What is our “logos?” What word or phrase transcends (or maybe could transcend) cultures in order to galvanize large groups of people?

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December 4th, 2008 by Jaybrams

Just a few practical ideas for giving this Christmas, some are gifts for people you know, others are gifts to the Kingdom of God. There are upteen more you can find with the helpful tool of google (Tom’s Shoes, Charity:Water, etc), but these are the ones that jumped out at me today:

* World Vision Gift Guide - This is a great gift guide! There are over 60 gifts that will cost you less than $50 for impoverished families and communities around the world. $35 will provide nearly $500 worth of clothing. Or join forces with friends and families to buy a small healthy flock of sheep which will provide nutrition and a constant source of income for years to come for multiple families for only $500.

* Moju Shirts - (ht: Aaron). For your t-shirt wearing friends, hook them up with a Moju T-Shirt. Yes, it’s pricey as far as a t-shirt is concerned, but for 25$ you will feed an Orphan in Africa for a full month.

* The Greater Good Store - A large variety of gifts for almost everyone on your list helping a large number of charities (funds distributed by GreaterGood.org), focusing on Hunger/Poverty, Children’s Health, Women’s Health, Child Literacy, the Environment, and Animal Rescue. I could personally look past the last two, but hey, whatever moves your feet. And the prices are pretty decent to boot!

* Gifts that Give More - Also from GreaterGood.org, these gifts are similar to World Vision’s gift guide (feed a family for a month, provide health care, etc), but offers a wider variety of charities to help (see previous suggestion). They even offer several options for helping those on our own turf. You can actually find these item’s at the Greater Good Store, but this link puts all of these type gifts in one place.

* (for you Local guys) KLTY Christmas Wish - I rarely listen to KLTY throughout the year; the music is pretty decent it’s just not my thing. But during Christmas it’s always on in our car because of this program. If you’re in the Dallas area, go check them out at one of their remotes this holiday season… I’d almost guarantee that you will find someone in your own backyard that you can help even if you don’t feel like you have much to offer. And if not, you can still donate to the overall good of the community.

And as always, validate your faith against what the organization is about to determine your best course of action.

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December 3rd, 2008 by Jaybrams

This is the about the sixth time i’ve logged in to post in the past week or so, but I’d either get distracted or not have a chance to fully develop what I wanted to post about… So, let me just get it out of the way with the ongoings the past couple of weeks:

* Thanksgiving Lunch was excellent this year.
* Thanksgiving Football was less than stellar. I’m glad the ‘Boys won, but can we please get Detroit off the TV?
* I had two weeks to finish the homework that was due this past Monday… I still haven’t finished it… how does that work? Oh yeah, i know… I’m a slacker sometimes.
* We finally finalized our newest budget. When we have one in place, we’re good at sticking to it for a while. This one needs to go well and go far.
* Dionna’s pregnancy is going pretty well, but if you’re into the whole ‘praying for other people’ thing, then she’s fighting fatigue and general pain more than she did with either of the other two… and we still don’t have a name yet.
* More Christmas music…

Coming up:
* Couple of book discussions
* Church Search Updates
* Fatherhood Post
* Maybe short story teaser?

If you let me know which you prefer, i’ll prioritize accordingly. One day my mom will post a comment… If she posts here, i’ll prioritize whatever she wants above everyone else :)

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November 21st, 2008 by Jaybrams

The other day at lunch I counted 105 different men (Barnes and Noble was on the list of stops). Before they all breathe their last breath, 47 (45%) will likely develop some type of cancer. Roughly 30 of the 78 (38%) women counted will join them. Of the 1.47 million estimated new cases in 2008, just under 600,000 will not win the fight.

Those numbers staggered me a bit; we all know it’s a horrible disease, but I did not realize the width, depth, and reach of the physical monstrosity which creates an ever greater emotional atrocity. My earliest exposure to cancer was as a six year old when our grandmother came to live with us after being diagnosed with colon cancer. I don’t remember much about it and I think my parents purposefully sheltered me from the horrendous difficulties she was going through. Just yesterday my sister (only 15 months older than I) was telling me some of things I was oblivious too; it was not a pretty picture. My grandmother lost her battle 20 years ago this December.

So, why now? Why all of a sudden is this burdening my heart? An online acquaintance is fighting hard and refusing to lose, a new co-worker took several days off over the past few weeks to visit the oncologist (thankfully she came through in the clear), and a long time co-worker’s dad has just started his own battle.

Since my wife’s aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years back, Dionna has been faithful in doing what little we can to help research the cause and cure, but I’ve admittedly remained too impassive towards the situation. Thank God for compassionate wives.

I don’t even know where to go with this new-found burden quite yet. A good place to start is awareness, not just at a statistical level, but at a personal level. I hate that I am at a loss of words with my co-worker concerning his father, but I know that sometimes words are not necessary and too often just get in the way. Dave Burchett posted these words of advice two years ago when his wife went through Breast cancer, and reposted it last month during Pink Ribbon Month. If you know anyone currently going through the storm, take a look; the insights are invaluable.

I apologize for such a heavy post on a Friday. I think I need a good dose of college football or PS2/360 Soccer tourneys this weekend.

(All stats derived from: http://www.cancer.org/)

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November 20th, 2008 by Jaybrams

“Christmas” music…

some of it is AWESOME! Like the instrumental stuff. Most of it is trash. Stop it. Please.

I’m not a scrooge, but honestly, when else would you listen to this crap and like it? Never. I know some of you will say “all year if they let me!” No, you wouldn’t. Case in point: How many non-Christmas CHIPMUNK ALBUMS do you have? … ZERO! (and if you didn’t know they had other albums other than Christmas, than you just proved my point, thanks)… but during Christmas it’s suddenly good? no it’s not.

Stop it… please.

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November 18th, 2008 by Jaybrams

“We all know it’s more blessed to give than to receive, so give yourself the gift you’ve always wanted this holiday season!”

I wish I could remember which retail store has been pushing this line through my radio non stop in the last few weeks. I’m sure I’ll hear it several more times before the holiday season is over. The blatant selfishness doesn’t surprise us at all, but have you noticed the subtle narcissistic adverts invading your tube and airwaves? The most cunning has to be Best Buy. They start you off with a real life employee telling stories of seeming selflessness… “This is their one shot” to make an impact on the spouse who is in on leave from Iraq, so it’s got to be perfect! Or the wife giving a husband a new phone in a creative way. The older parent who wants to see his grand kids open their gifts, but they’re missionaries in Africa… But their new holiday slogan really says it all, doesn’t it?

“You, Happier”

Yes indeed… ME happier. After all, _______ (retail store of choice) brings happiness.

But we expect this from advertising, don’t we? I know they’re just trying to make a buck in this down trodden economy, and I guess you can’t fault them for that. But I wonder what the Church and Christianity is supposed to look like in comparison? Do we look that much different? Do I?

The early church was communal for several reasons, not the least of which was need… not need as we see it, but survival mode “if we don’t live this way, many of us will die” type of need. I know we don’t need a communal type life, and I’m not looking for one. But the juxtaposition of our society and theirs brings up an interesting aspect that makes it difficult for us to live truly as the hands and feet in the way that I believe we’re called to.

Individualism - This is our creed. This is the American way. This is our battle cry.

In our marriages, our jobs, our relationships, our giving, our receiving, our celebrations, our conversations, and unfortunately our faith. This is what defines us… “Me… happier.

Those within our faith who have or are reversing the trend are still far outnumbered by those who embrace this American way of life. And then there are those in between, sacrificially giving or serving from time to time and trying to make a difference, but subconsciously sucked in by subtle materialism and individualism.

This is one of those “speck / log” relationships. “Mine is a speck, yours is a log” … We want to do more, but I believe most of us (that is inclusive of me) fail to realize just how steeped in individualism we are. I know that I could use some help.

How can we do more than just our quota? How do we move beyond “yes, we did something to help someone this year… now, let’s finish this wish list”? How can we turn gorging ourselves during our Thanksgiving feasts into satiating the bellies and (more importantly) the hearts of the less fortunate?

Will you do something with me? Thanksgiving is next Thursday, it’s not too late is it? I challenge you, especially if you have a blog, share your ideas over the next few weeks / months, lets look at solutions together and enable each other to move beyond ourselves in spite of the individualism which has inundated our lifestyles.

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