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I never believed parents when they said “This will hurt me more than it hurts you.” Maybe because my parents never said it. They would only laugh maniacally as they beat the living sh… well, nvm… Actually, half the time I was supposed to get spankings, my dad would say “okay just scream” and then he’d hit THE BED with a belt while I proceeded to falsify pain. Then I’d splash water on my face and rub my eyes until they were red and come out a few minutes later… Funny thing is, my mom would do the same thing, but I don’t think either of them knew the other would do it… or maybe they were just putting on a show for my sister and brother…

Well, I’m not opposed to spanking at all. My oldest is now 7, which is still young enough to spank, but we’ve taken a different approach to discipline. There are still times that she’ll get a quick smack on the leg, but usually it is the removal of privileges that we use for punishment.

This weekend, though, we really did have a “man, this hurts us too” moment. We had a discussion on Friday in which she lied to us over and over again. She only came clean out of fear when I, using my infinite wisdom and elite parenting skills, suggested we call the other children and ask them how they think the story went. After a quick discussion about her refusal to tell the truth, I told her she would be grounded, but we’d deal with it at the end of the weekend. She had two birthday parties and I did not want to keep her from those.

The most frustrating thing about it is that she wouldn’t have gotten in trouble for what went on at school. It was something that shouldn’t be done but wasn’t “wrong” necessarily. I explained this sort of thing to her last night, along with discussions about sin, forgiveness, grace, and consequences… about obedience out of love and not fear. We talked about ways she could approach difficult topics, taught her about journaling, and spoke about having open and honest communication. Then we dealt out the discipline…

She had been looking forward to being in the school choir since last year. Only 2nd grade and above are allowed to be in choir, so this was her first chance. She was accepted last week and was excited to get her start this afternoon after school. Unfortunately for her, the consequences of her actions meant she had to give up the privilege of being in the school choir… She cried… dionna cried… we all hugged, prayed for forgiveness, and life has moved on. Hopefully for the better.

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Category : Empyreal, Family