Jaybrams.com

(As i wrote today I couldn’t help but feel it would seem as if I was writing a review or critique of a church, which doesn’t exactly leave a good taste in my mouth. However, I am hoping to invite you along and delve into the same conversations we’d have if you joined us physically at these churches. Please feel free to ask specific questions, clarify, or call me stupid throughout this process.)

For our first church, we decided to check out a nearby Bible Church referred to us by our bro-in-law. He had only visited and shared his testimony during a youth service, but noticed several things he liked about the small, friendly church. Seeing as we had just left a Bible Church and agreed with the theological foundation they are built on, we thought it was a good place to start.

What we didn’t know is that our previous Bible Church is quite different from the majority of Bible Churches, but i’m not sure who found themselves more in shock: us at the heavy traditional style influence? or the congregation at the fact that visitors walked through the door? … Seriously… it was like that. It was impossible for the members to hide their disbelief. Needless to say, it was very uncomfortable being stared at as if we just crawled out of a swamp.

It wasn’t that we stood out in our attire (it was a fairly casual setting), we were just new. After the initial shock, the atmosphere was nice, and though i wouldn’t say it was necessarily “warm,” the opening experience was not a deal breaker.

The kids program for the main hour was non-existent, so the girls stayed with us. They do have a Sunday School program for children, but as a rule we only go to the main service the first time at a church. Tristen managed nicely, but Mac started getting restless about half way through. While they did have a place for younger children Mac’s age to go, Mac wasn’t terribly interested (a theme we’ve repeatedly encountered). Dionna did get a chance to watch the young’ens in action and she was a bit concerned when two of the toddlers made their way into the parking lot without the workers noticing… (yikes!). But hey, stuff happens.

The service as a whole was tough to sort through because a few internal changes influenced the mood. A long time member passed away the previous week, and this particular Sunday was also the last for a leader who was going on to a different ministry. It was nice to see how the pastor and congregation handled the changes.

But there was a lot of good to be had at this small church. They had a wall dedicated to the missionaries they supported… Such a small church providing financial and spiritual support to four different sets of missionaries is awesome! And I recognized the pastor as the guy who I always saw at Chick Fil A on Saturday morning’s where I also meet with some friends of mine, subtly letting me know that discipleship was on the radar and consistency existed at least in his mind. I also really liked the Pastor’s down to earth approach to the message, which was filled with “I don’t knows” … “here’s some alternate views” and a general tone of “lets discover this together.”

It was also encouraging to see the people as a whole treating each other as one big happy family, despite the difficult times they seemed to be facing… But herein also lies one of the most difficult things about this particular church… They were so close knit that it would take a lot of networking, conversations, and nods of approval before we would feel like this was home. Yes, I know everywhere we visit we will feel like outsiders; it’s natural when trying something new, but there is a difference between feeling like outsiders and being treated like outsiders.

At the end of the day, I have no doubt that the people would love us and let us in to the circle, but “Church 1″ fails to manifest the type of outward faith that I want our family to exude.

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Category : Church, Empyreal, Enabling, Family, Sundays

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(part one: here)

Church should not be the fulfillment of ministry in your life, rather it should be an extension of your lifestyle of ministry.

If I’m going to “live by” certain maxims, I have to at least mull over what it means for various areas of my life. Its fine and dandy to say something to encourage or challenge others, but if I don’t run with and own it, I’m a hypocrite. If I am adamant in my belief in the value of the statement, I must move beyond pulling it out of my back pocket only when it is convenient to make a point or justify a thought process. There must be some level of commitment or change.

So how should this particular personal-adage manifest in my life?

Church-Leaving: Over the last several months we have watched as our personality and that of our “home” church has slowly drifted in different directions. I think the church we were attending does a good job at several things, but lacks in the areas that are most important to us. We have served faithfully, but we are moving on.

The difficulty in leaving a church lies at the very heart of the fulfillment/extension relationship. If church is only one singular avenue by which I minister, then anything short of heresy or blatant disregard for the foundations of the Christian faith is acceptable. Living so that my life fulfills the ministry He lays on my heart means that I do not wait for the local church to provide an opportunity nor do I need their approval of outpouring of His ministry in my personal life. Obviously the time I spend ministering within the local church is subject to the local church’s guidelines, but anything beyond is governed directly by God, His Word, and those in my life that He uses to keep me in check.

The implications, then, are that I do not have to seek a church that falls completely in line with my personality or style preferences. Using the previous parental analogy, I do not enjoy ballet, but if any of my daughters decide they want to pursue dance as an extra-curricular activity and it turns into a passion of theirs, then it becomes a big part of my life. I may not enjoy the actual experience, but I take joy in their fulfillment. Suddenly, style does not matter. Tradition does not matter. Programs do not matter. Musical tastes do not matter. Demographics do not matter.

So what matters?

Like-mindedness? The vision of every church is based on the Great Commission, or at least, in theory it should be. So like-mindedness isn’t an issue. Execution of the vision? Every church strives to fulfill the vision. Too many go about it the wrong way, but the hearts of leadership are generally in the right place. Besides, if the fulfillment of ministry does not rely on local church leadership, then shortcomings, in-and-of themselves, are not an excuse to leave a church. If we can trace the deficiencies to obvious character flaws, lack of true relationship with Christ, sin-filled lives, and so forth, then yes, they play a role in staying or leaving. But then again leaving over poor-execution means I never gave a damn about the people in the local church in the first place. When a leader falls short, we should be there to help and support him. Not to hide his failure, but to aide in the recovery. Not only his healing, but also in the resolve of other church members. Like-mindedness and execution of the vision, then, cannot be the sole reason for leaving.

We also cannot justify leaving a church based on the opportunities it creates for us to use the gifts God has individually given us. Faithfulness in execution of our gifts must extend beyond the available outlets in our local church. My wife is gifted in helping others learn, specifically as it relates to math. She’s tutored everything from middle school to college and has an unbelievable success rate. I do not know of many local churches who would provide her with a specific “tutoring” ministry, but she would be remiss to allow the lack of opportunity within the church to dictate her usage of the gift.

This shifts everything in my heart. What I used to see as viable reasons for leaving the church, when taken by themselves, are no longer valid. Then again, this is the third church I’ve left since adulthood; the first two were extenuating circumstances so I don’t have a lot of experience in the matter (the first I was asked to leave, the second was a personal sabbatical from ministry that formed much of the internal discussions I’m bringing to light now).

The conundrum created by pursing a lifestyle of ministry that is only extended (rather than fulfilled) via the local church is why we mulled over this decision for several months. But in the end it came down to two very related things: “is it home?” and “are we connected?”

The answer to both, is “no.” We’ve tried to make it feel like home, and we’ve tried to connect, but it hasn’t worked out for us. But how is that answer justifiable as it concerns the fulfillment/extension relationship? … in a word… problematic… at best. Again, that is why it was a several month decision. If we begin to live the way we feel we are intended to live… that is without restrain in the fulfillment of ministry, uncuffed, throwing caution to the wind… it becomes increasingly evident that we must have a home and a church family that supports us in word and helps us find rest for weary legs.

Is it a cop out? maybe on its own merit, just like any of the previously mentioned reasons. But when you combine it all… demographics, execution of vision, dis-connectedness, personalities,  the focus of the ministries available, conflicting areas we respectively hold in high regard… it all points to one thing: it’s time to move on.

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Category : Culture, Empyreal, Enabling, Sundays

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What ministry or project would you take on if you had just barely enough resources? Barely enough money, time, energy, people, support, etc… Its too cliche and easy to ask if you had “unlimited,” but if we set out to do something we really believed in and had passion for, we could probably muster up “just barely enough” to do just about anything ministry related.

My sister and her esposo wanted to start a local food pantry and after speaking with the church leadership, felt confident they could pursue the ministry. They spent quite a bit of time putting everything together, organizing, , vision-casting it, etc., only to hear the church inform them that it didn’t quite fit with the vision of the church for that particular season.

I have had a friend who has a heart for the homeless and we’ve talked numerous times about the lack of opportunity to serve the homeless within the churches he has attended.

I’ve had several ideas lacking only legs that i’ve rarely bothered to pursue because I knew it would be difficult without the church’s blessing.

I have come realize that something isn’t quite sitting right in the relationship between church member and church institution. The realization birthed the following mantra (which you’ve probably heard if you’ve known me long enough, and i’ve know i’ve said it at least once on this blog before):

Church should not be the fulfillment of ministry in your life, rather it should be an extension of your lifestyle of ministry.

We’re all given gifts from God that play out through our strengths within our personality, intelligence, and various abilities, yet in my experience we tend to save these gifts solely for use within the local church. If our church home does not provide us an avenue to serve how we feel lead to serve, we push the urge aside, ignore it, save it for later… We have allowed the church to handcuff us, to tell us when and where we can minister… we’ve allowed the church to dilute our passion… if there isn’t a program to meet the needs of our vision, we simply choose abeyance rather than obedience.

The relationship is out of whack… and it’s not solely (or even mostly) the institutions fault. I don’t want to downplay the importance of the local church. There are a lot of churches doing great things, but there are far too many churches who are just as handcuffed by our inactivity.

But… at the same time… I look at this vision in which ministry is not determined by the availability of a like-minded program that my church offers, rather is propelled by the Love of God within me… the more i chew, the more I see that we have placed too much of an emphasis on the local church, and not enough on the Body doing what it is designed to do.

As a parent, I want to be involved in my girls’ lives, converse with them, watch them grow, help them find their way in Christ… So I chose to be a soccer coach a few seasons back. This allowed me to impart some things in my daughter’s life about working with others, trying hard, accepting failure, and enjoying victory humbly. Coaching soccer did not fulfill my vision as a parent, it was simply an extension of my everyday parenting. How ridiculous would it be if I told my daughter “hon, you get all of me during anything related to soccer… the rest of the time i’m going to do my own thing.”

Isn’t that what many of us tell God? Inadvertantly, subtly, and in the words that are only audible through our actions and lack there of… God stirs our heart and says “i’ve given you the gifts… go do it.” Many of us respond “give me a way to do it at church, and i’ll do it!”…

I’m still trying to figure out how to shake the off the handcuffs that I’ve firmly locked into place on my own. This is grass-roots stuff… it’s not culturally relevant, its not seeker sensitive, and i dunno if its for everyone. But I’m tired…

Tired of words without action. Tired of hearts beating but not breaking. Tired of visions without casting. Tired of knowing what I should do and using the church as an excuse not to do it… We are the Church, so the excuse is no longer valid… And if we somehow get this concept working in our lives, we will see the local church relevant in the way it was intended to be.

(and this more or less is what I presented in my final of Foundations of Leadership)

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Category : Church, Culture, Empyreal, Enabling, School

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A world where in theory everybody is a somebody is a radically different place from a world divided into somebodies and nobodies.
     - John Bowe: Introduction to Nobodies

Bowe is discussing the eye-opening topic of modern-day slavery right here in our own back yard (yes, within the borders of America) along with the darker impact of free-market/economic globalization. I’m around 2/3 through and will write my thoughts on the book when I’m done, but this particular quote struck a chord with me on a different level.

Just as we tend to dehumanize the poor, far too often we dehumanize the ugly, fat, annoying, disabled, sickly, pale, weak, and generally “different” individuals around us in our every day lives. All too often I sit at a table at lunch or lounge around on break and hear one disparaging remark after another based solely on how someone looks, talk, or walk after a short 5 second interaction. Sadly enough, this scenario plays out just as often with my Christian friends as it does with those who do not yet follow.

Are the they less than human? Or perhaps they woke up one morning as a child and say “today I start my journey to obesity, ugliness, and halitosis!” As we sit and laugh at their expense, usually behind their back -despite our own obvious health issues, failures and internal ugliness - the dehumanized are simply wanting to be accepted for who they are so perhaps they can start their journey with a friend towards a healthier or more fulfilled life.

Obviously not every Christ-follower falls into the trap of dehumanizing those around us. I often speak up, as do many of us, despite the ridicule that is returned my way… I know one unfortunate Christian who considered this ridicule “persecution,” thinking that she then must be blessed because “blessed are the persecuted.” but.. i digress..

There is no doubt in my mind, though, that a large portion of people who claim adoption into the family of Christ still live under the influence of our society in which social status, good looks, and popularity mean more than the heart and emotions that make up a person. If you talk right, look right, have the right money (or at least appear to have the money), carry yourself a certain way… you are a somebody… everyone else is reduced to a person to point at, laugh at, and ultimate emotional manipulate…

To illustrate, Lindsey shares two stories, both true that she experienced first hand of those who get it… and those who don’t.

Perhaps the majority of us, Christ Followers or not, do not endorse or enslave others for our personal gain; it’s becoming increasing clear, however, that our world remains a world of “somebodies” and “nobodies.”

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Category : Books, Church, Culture, Empyreal, Enabling, Quotable

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Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.  -Proverbs 31:8-9

If we are to advocate and speak up, we have to know what we’re talking about. More importantly, we have to know WHO we are talking about.

The average American -and maybe average American Christian- sees the global poor as lazy, uneducated, backwards, uncivilized, unreliable, dependent on everyone else, unwilling to change, corrupt, weak…

Why do we hold these prejudices? I think we hold these prejudices to justify our own inaction, our own place at the front of the line, our own wealth, and really we justify these because we dont know the poor. We know about them, but we don’t know them…

You and I are so dangerously close to a subtle dehumanization of the poor. I have thought and wrestled with this… It is the only explaination why men and women of faith with resource to spare allow such inequity to exist.

And other wonderfully loving compassion and action from Andrew Syed can be heard here.

Andrew’s Organization - 10/10 Project

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(read part one)
(read part two)

Here is what all this comes down to for me.

I want to enable missionaries who long to evangelize the least reached.
I want to enable those who’s hearts break for the homeless.
I want to enable musicians who want to ply their craft as instruments of hope.
I want to enable parents who long to see their children grow into men and women of God.
I want to enable dreamers and visionaries who need that extra “umph” to take the next risky step.
I want to enable those who see broken friends but aren’t sure how to reach them.
I want to enable … through the enabling power of Christ who is alive and real and longs to see people who are proactive rather than passive.

I have no idea how this plays out vocationally. I know that I would love for my vocation to allow me to do this, but it’s something that I want to become whether my job plays into it or not… after all, ministry is a lifestyle, not a job… though sometimes the burden is heavier than any normal job.

and I know a few things if this is who I am to be:

* I have to cultivate creativeness in my life in order to bring fresh and motivating ideas to the table.
* I have to be keenly aware of the needs of those around me. Unfortunately most people don’t share their dreams anymore; I must be sensitive in order to find ways to enable…
* I have to be willing to work along side those I enable. This desire to enable sounds like a cop-out…After all, if i’m enabling then i don’t have to do the dirty work, right? But that is not the case at all. I want to find ways to partake in the work at some point or another. From mission field to soup kitchen, servanthood must be first and foremost a part of the enabling.
* I have to be willing to take risks by investing time, energy, money, emotions and trust into people who are probably less flawed than I but flawed none-the-less.
* I have to be willing to sacrifice.
* I have to make sure that my first ministry is to my family. I must enable my wife and children just as much as I enable my friends and those who cross my path.
* I have to know when to say “no.”

I have a long way to go… but I guess the only way to get started is asking… what do you want to do? And how can we help you get there? … or … can i borrow 50 bucks? (whichever you’d prefer to answer)

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Category : Empyreal, Enabling

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(read part one)

I want to make this very clear before moving on… I’m not so blind or arrogant to think that is anything that is done within my own power. It is completely the power of God that enables, even if I may be one of the many vessels that He chooses to use to initiate the enabling. The word itself may be substituted if you like… we’re called to encourage and edify one another, and all enabling does is take it to the next level.

It is one thing to say “You can do it!”, it’s another to say “You can do it! Here’s how.” and even a another to say “You can do it! Here’s how. Let me help.”  This is something I’ve thought and discussed quite a bit… I long to be the type of person that says the third; it is more a passion within me than any of the ministry vocations that I’ve tossed around in my head over the last couple of years.

You might say “aren’t we all called to encourage and enable?” … well… yes and no.

In the same way we are all called to fulfill the great commission? Yes.
In the way that some people say we are all called to mission work? No.

People use the great commission to tell us that we are all called to evangelize. I was guilted into believing this for so long… I have always felt more inclined to help people become followers of Christ who are dedicated to serving Him out of love, whether that means ministering to fellow Christians, new converts, or those who don’t know Christ. Don’t get me wrong, my heart breaks for the lost and I hope to see as many people come into relationship with Christ as possible. But Jesus, through the great commission, does not call us solely to proselytize, He calls us to make disciples. Conversion / Evangelism is a step in discipleship but it is not the end game. Scripture tells us multiple times that we are all part of the body and we all have different roles. Take a look at Paul’s words to the Church at Ephesus:

It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up. (4:11-12)

I honestly don’t know which of these roles “enabler” falls under, but I know that we are called to our various roles in order “to prepare God’s people for works of service so that the body of Christ may be built up.” Perhaps this is the best definition of “enabler” for me. I hope that I can be a vessel that helps prepare others in a way that they can fulfill their roles of apostles, prophets, evangelists, and teachers.

We are all called to encourage each other. If your heart moves you, take it up a notch and offer “here’s how” and “let me help,” but if not, do whatever you can to fulfill your role in the Body through Christ who is the head.

(if you care, part three deals with specifics of how it burns in my heart and what needs to happen from here)

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Category : Empyreal, Enabling

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Blake has a great idea for shifting from commercialism to commission this Christmas and beyond. I encourage you to read all you can about this 20$ bottle of water. Check all the various links on Blake’s post concerning Charity:Water, they’re informational and inspiring.

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Category : Culture, Current Events, Empyreal, Enabling

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As of yesterday at about 9:15 PM, school for this semester is over. I flew through my final oral presentation… I’m not sure I breathed in the 7 minutes I was doing my thing… I guess it’s a bit of a nervous habit, but I don’t generally *feel* nervous… It usually happens when I feel like there is a lot to say and I have to get it said in a specific time frame. If I had the floor for 30 minutes, I might’ve slowed down. It was fun though.

So, going to a Christian College, a question comes up in discussion multiple times in a semester. No less than seven times in 3.5 classes by three professors and four students I have been asked “What’s your major?” followed immediately by “What do you plan on doing when you’re done?” …

It’s a tough question to answer. I have ideas, but nothing solid. Sometimes I have passions for a very specific vocation, other times I am tossed to-and-fro between a small handful of options. Last night, though, I think I finally found the right answer…

I want to be an enabler.

Last night wasn’t the first time I’ve said this, it’s just the first time I used it to answer that specific question.

en•a•ble: 1. to make able; give power, means, competence, or ability to; authorize (from dictionary.com)
enabler: one that enables another to achieve an end; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by helping that individual avoid the consequences of such behavior (from Merriam-Webster Online)

-Okay, so throw out commonly used term of someone who enables another to continue in a destructive manner, and this is who I want to be. -

God has enabled us to accomplish the work that He has set us to do… lead people to place of seeing Christ as their loving, merciful saviour and, after the Holy Spirit does the work, continuing the process by leading others into a life of discipleship (Matthew 28:18-20) . Through the enabling power of Christ, I hope to enable those who may already be traveling the road of discipleship for the work that God has laid on their hearts.

I’ll anticipate your follow up question of “What do you mean by that exactly as it relates to ministry?” and give you an answer next post on the subject.

( I was going to post this all at once, but it kept growing… it’s friday and I know you don’t want to read yet another 2000 word essay on my website, so you’ll just have to wait with anticipation if you’re really that interested.)

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Category : Empyreal, Enabling

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