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Thats how I started several sentences to myself on Thursday. But a little background (the longer this is, the less likely you’ll read it ):

I can tolerate pain to a acceptable level whether I expect it or not. I’m not saying I like it, or that I’m even “tough” but i’m not the biggest wuss in the world… Couple of Cases from yesteryear and fairly recent where i didn’t freak out over painful experiences (just to make me feel better about myself):

* When I was about 8 I jabbed sharp-pointed scissors about an inch into my hand and didn’t start screaming for my dad until I realized that I couldn’t stop the blood flowing…
* In middle school I thought it’d be awesome to stand up while riding my bike… and then go no-handed. I flipped about three times on concrete.
* As an adult, I put up with a faulty appendix for several hours before heading to the ER so my wife and kids could go to church. Stupid, i know, but i lived. Oh and before going to the ER, Dionna jabbed me as hard as she could right in the appendix, which may be the most painful thing i’ve ever experienced.
* I was ran over by a Jet Ski… literally. I can still feel the deformation (small one) in my left forearm bone near my wrist. I was bruised all the way up my back, across my shoulder, and down my arm. I won’t tell you who ran over me, but her name rhymes with “Leonna”
* Etc…

“So, what?” Well… i have this other problem that does make me feel like a wuss. Doctor’s have said it happens and it’s no big deal, but that doesn’t change the fact that I feel stupid over it. In high school on a mission trip to South America we were facilitating a sort of general check-up for the locals. Blood Pressure, ears, eyes, the basics. They put me and my sister at the blood work area. I don’t remember what it tested for, but it just needed a prick on the finger and blood to flow. For some reason, I couldn’t handle it… i started sweating and feeling faint, and i said to myself (Hey, stupid… you’re not even the one getting pricked!) … didn’t matter, had to move on otherwise I would’ve lost it.

So, anytime I’ve gotten a shot, same thing. It doesn’t hurt necessarily, just makes me sweat, go pail, get woozy, and almost faint… even blacked out once. Then I had to give blood and it was even worse, but i made it through it… (Hey, wimp! … you can barely feel it and it’s over in about 30 seconds!) … doesn’t matter, my body does what it does… something about medical procedures, needles, etc.

Thats a lot of background… sorry…

Thursday I went in for a check up to appease my wife and mom… and a little of myself; I haven’t had one in nine years and I’ve gained a lot of weight since then *cough*45lbs*cough*, so it was the smart thing to do. Unfortunately I had no idea what to expect. I’ve only gone to the doctor a few times in those nine years (other than my surgery): two major sinus infections, strep throat a time or two, and that’s about it. I assumed they’d take blood, so I was mentally prepared for that, but had no frame of reference for anything else they may want to do

So i’m in the room and the pre-check nurse lady thing is asking all the normal questions “any allergies? sleeping well? smoke? drink? etc” … then she starts into what all they’re going to do and why “We’ll be taking x-rays of your chest and back… we’ll probably take your blood… here’s a cup, go ahead and do this for me” … “um… i didn’t know what was going on, so I don’t exactly need to go right now” … “okay, no problem, just before you leave or whenever your ready… Go ahead and take your shirt off and we’re going to run an EKG on you.” …. “wh…? huh? what does that do?” (and here… we… go)

Sweaty, blood slowing down, she said something about leads and electricity… my shirt’s off now, but what the crap is going on…(hey, stupid, you’re not going to feel anything. calm down)… x-rays, blood work, pee in a cup, and EKG? I’ve never had an EKG “You’re gonna rip the hair off my chest, huh?” I’m only half kidding, trying to calm myself with humor… this is worse than normal, why am I feeling like this? (hey, dill… if you calm down you’ll breathe better)… breathing? crap i can barely breath… she sure doesn’t look like she knows what she’s doing. Am i going to feel anything? … (oh you idiot! stop being a *$@&*!). “Stay still” … I am still, aren’t i?… oh weird! my legs are moving, i didn’t tell them to move! (that’s because you’re being a wimp. She’s already running the EKG, you feel nothing, there is no pain, no electric current, nothing) … I didn’t know we were doing all this crap!…

This went on for a few minutes. The EKG errored out towards the end, but they didn’t need (or want?) to get a second one. This was nothing like what I normally experience in these weird medical moments… I was a sweaty mess, could barely breathe, could NOT keep my leg from moving, couldn’t calm myself and thought i was going to faint for sure. The above conversation with myself was real… I *knew* there was nothing to freak out about, but I was so unprepared for everything they were doing that my body was telling my logic to bug off. It was all very surreal.

Eventually, after all the leads were off (and it didn’t take my hair with it), i had a few cups of water in me and started coming back to normal. Even then I wasn’t sure why I just had like a real anxiety attack; it made no sense to me on any logical level and I felt pretty defeated both mentally and physically… and they haven’t even drawn blood yet!

So, anyways. There were two good things to take out of it:

1) After that, I had time to prep for the blood work AND for the Tetnus shot (another thing I didn’t know I was getting before hand). I spent most of that time taking a hard look at myself and digging deep to find some resolve… and it sounds stupid, but I basically told myself “I’m in control. That was unnecessary, a bit embarrassing, and more importantly, a total lack of constitution. I’m done with that.” Sure enough, the blood work came and went, the shot came and went, (after the x-rays and doctor talks) and i had no other issues. We’ll see next time if it sticks or not

2) I didn’t hear the words “on the verge of diabetes” or anything like that; I heard “Liver good, kidney’s good, BP good, overall cholesterol good, ‘bad’ cholesterol levels are good…” Basically they said “clean bill of health, you’re just out of shape friend and fat!”

So… laugh at me, call me wimp… all that stuff… but in the end, i’m happy.

Popularity: 12% [?]

Category : Fatness, Me Dang It!

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I brought this up a while back, but i should probably say it again:

I … am … fat(ish).

Dang it! See… i can’t even write it correctly. *sigh*… anyway, i’m overweight, it’s causing issues in several areas of my life (though obviously not in the baby making part of life *HIGH FIVES GUYS AROUND HIM*!), and its getting old fast. More accurately, its aging me fast. I have a few problems that a 27 year old shouldn’t have such as really jacked up knees flaring up over the course of this summer.

My lack of discipline is nine four fold:

* I love me some Pizza and Dr. Pepper (and cheese, mexican food, etc).
* I’m lazy when it comes to working out. I’m not lazy in every area of my life, but this is one of them. I enjoy working out, I just don’t enjoy the sweat and the working part of it. I like the adrenaline, though.
* My dad is fat(ish). I know that isn’t nice to blame it on genetics, but he didn’t exactly provide a good example for me growing up. I love him deeply, but he missed the boat on this one.
* My mom loves me too much. She does, and thats great. Growing up she made me eat my veggies, but nachos and quesadillas weren’t off limits when i was fending for myself. Now she tells me I need to lose weight, but her fridge is always stocked with DP despite the fact that she doesn’t drink DP (mom, i know you read… stop buying stuff for me…).
* I don’t really believe i’m fat. I believe i’m overweight and need to lose weight, but not to the degree of many people that I know, see and work with every day. As long as I think like this, its too easy to ignore.
* I work a desk job. In high school i wasn’t some buff athlete, but i was active. Street B-Ball, riding bikes, and general screwing around (TPing your pastors house is quite the aerobic workout… especially when your Youth Pastor thinks it’s funny to lay on the horn and drive off).
* My cardiovascular system sucks… and blows, but doesn’t do either very well. I know, it’s because i’m fat(ish), but I can’t do as much during exercise that I want to do, which discourages me and makes me feel like a loser. Who wants to feel like a loser?
* Xbox 360, PS2, and Freekick.org are far more entertaining than a punching bag (although of the workouts I have available, i do enjoy the heavy bag the most). When I have free time away from work, school, and family, these things call my name louder than exercise… almost like an addiction.
* Jesus didn’t work out. I’m going to toe the Church of Christ line here and say since it’s not mentioned other than in an analogy in the new testament, than it’s sinful (i.e. - instruments in church). He probably didn’t have to work out, he walked everywhere and built awesome stuff with his hands… and you know, he’s God… but lets not worry about that, okay?

If you could fight through the stricken text above, you know the real reason, don’t you? I don’t take responsibility for my lack of discipline. I blame my situation, my surroundings, my upbringing, and everything but myself. But I have a plan; some of it you will see on here, starting with the One Hundred Pushup challenge that my bloggin’ buddy Blake threw down. We’re rolling with it this weekend.

Today, the fat me is dying, and the new me is emerging…

WHO’S WITH ME!?!

(cheers and applause, feet stomping and fist pumping, all that revolutionary jazz fills the air)

Good… now lets get started! … just as soon as i finish this Dr. Pepper.

Popularity: 18% [?]

Category : Culture, Enabling, Family, Fatness, Friends, Me Dang It!

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I need to:

* Weed-eat the yard since the lawn mower went kaput
* Find someone to fix my lawn mower
* If it’s not cheap, buy new lawn mower instead
* Meet buddies for breakfast
* Jog with said buddies after breakfast
* Library as always
* Meet with pastor of Church 4
* Read many pages of a book I’m currently reading

And much much more.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Category : Church, Eh... Whatever, Family, Fatness, Friends, Good Readin, Sundays

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Mac (3yr old) has this new game she likes to play with me. It doesn’t have a name yet, so we’ll call it “Laughter All Around at the Expense of Daddy” It’s great fun! It all started in Branson. We were eating hotdogs and chips and started talking about how good everything was (because i love me some hotdogs and chips). I’m trying to instill good healthy wisdom into my kids despite my current pre-disposition to eat only junk food:

Me: “yes, they are great but we should only eat junk food every now and then or you’ll get fat like daddy.”
Mac: “I want to be fat like daddy!”
Me: “It’s not good to be fat like daddy”
Mac: “But its funny!” (laughter all around at the expense of daddy)

And thats how it started. Now she (and occasionally Tristen (8 yrs)) will walk around and stick her stomach out as far as she can “I’m fat like daddy!” ((laughter all around at the expense of daddy) … or when she’s eating she say something about eating a lot because she “wants to be fat like daddy!” (laughter all around at the expense of daddy) … She laughs at it, that evil little sinister three year old!

Yesterday was the latest installment:

Mommy: “Mr. Incredible got fat.” (we’ve seen the movie 1.3 million times but we were just dialogging for the kdis)
Me and Tristen: “Yeah he did”
Mac: (sheepish smile quickly transformed to an outburst of laughing) “FAT LIKE DADDY!”

*sigh* …. (laughter all around at the expense of daddy)

well, I did work out last night (yes, on my heavy bag among other things) and I’m eating much better since we got back from vacation. But if mac keeps it up much longer, i may have to check myself into a clinic

Popularity: 15% [?]

Category : Family, Fatness, Me Dang It!

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I know i know, it’s technically not even summer yet (June 21st, i think), but I can’t think that way. I’m 27 years old, but i still see summer as a break of sorts, especially now that I’m back in school. I tend to check out mentally, focus on nothing but entertaining myself or my kids, which is needed from time to time… But i know my history, and even before vacation I could sense that I was slacking… So i need to get back on the proverbial saddle and get to trekking along again… on the docket (in random order as they come to my mind):

1) Exercise: This goes without saying, doesn’t it? i mean… i’m fat… and don’t want to be… One of the things I’ve always wanted in this area is a Heavy Bag/stand… I got it for Birthday/Father’s Day. We set it up the week before we left and I used it a couple of times. Had a lot of fun. If you get a nice rhythm going, using your whole body, it’s a pretty good balanced workout in and of itself… strength and cardio… So i know i’ve never had any good excuses, but really, now i’m out completely.

2) Personal Journaling: Blogging is personal, but there’s far too much insanity to release to the world. Journaling is a good practice, but its tough for me to keep it up.  Even once a week would benefit.

3) Reading: I like to read fiction and non-fiction alike. I have the resources to read both (library, amazon gift cards, etc)… One of each per week is easily doable, one of each every two weeks is more likely… I picked up “Emperor: The Gates of Rome” from the library… five chapters in and i’m not impressed with the writing. I’ll give it one more night before I try something else b/c I dig historical fiction and the Roman era. But, as far as Non-Fiction goes… not sure, going to browse through Amazon.com today to determine what to use my Birthday gift card on. Something that isn’t at the library…

4) Fatherhood and Husbandry: Family Bible times, weekly walks with the girls, meaningful conversations, and quality entertainment (dates, family movie nights, etc.). I can’t ignore my number one responsibility no matter how often the XBox calls my name (yes i have it back… well, they sent me a new one, but its back).

There are others (house work, finding a church), but i think thats a good start… if i pack my docket with too much, i’ll just give up and play soccer on the 360 all the time.

So keep me to it…

Popularity: 55% [?]

Category : Church, Current Events, Eh... Whatever, Empyreal, Family, Fatness, Friends

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Hello. My name is Jeremy Wheeler. I have not been around these parts lately due to… general laziness? So lets get you caught up and get this blog ball rolling again.

1) I passed Old Testament Survey. I wasn’t too worried about it. “And the monogram says ‘I-DOUBLE U-I-N”

2) I started to learn Spanish because I want to. Relearn really. It is going alright, but I need to concentrate on it more. Hopefully I will be conversational by end of summer. “And the monogram says ‘I-DOUBLE U-I-N”

3) On Friday, June 6th we’re leaving for Branson. “And the monogram says ‘I-DOUBLE U-I-N”

4) Blake is a bad word. He got me addicted to Sports based MMORPGs. “FAIL”

5) I’m still addicted to soccer. FC Dallas fired their coach, probably the right thing to do, but horrible timing and situation surrounding it. They gave up a goal in stoppage time last night which resulted in a draw instead of a win. “FAIL”

6) I bought the new Deliriou5? It is so yummy. “And the monogram says ‘I-DOUBLE U-I-N”

7) I’m still fat but until last week I was losing weight and staying off the Dr. Peppers. But last week and a half is horrible. “FAIL”

to end on a positive note… “And the monogram says ‘I-DOUBLE U-I-N”

Popularity: 19% [?]

Category : Eh... Whatever, Family, Fatness, Me Dang It!, Music, School, Soccer, Sports, Video

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It has been roughly 37 hours and 47 minutes since my last Dr. Pepper.

I have had a headache for the last 15 of those hours.

My co-worker, whom normally sells me cans of Dr. Pepper for 25c a pop, returned from Sams at lunch with a new 24 pack roughly 22 hours ago.

Based on what had become my normal intake, I have avoided 1200 empty calories in a short 37 hour time frame.

Assuming I have burned and consumed the exact amount of calories I normally burn in a 37 hour time frame minus the Dr. Peppers, I have already lost 1/3 of a lb this week.

Last week, without giving up DPs, I lost 2.5 lbs.

If I do not burn extra calories, I will lose roughly 1.5lbs of my Dr. Pepper gut this week.

… but then again, i plan on working out…

… but then again, i always plan on it and rarely do it…

… but then again, now i’ve posted it for the world to see…

… but then again, it’s a very small portion of the world…

… but then again, it’s certainly the most important portion of the world…

therefore, i will lose 30lbs before my vacation in 65 days on June 6 (ha!… ok maybe just 20).

(to save you the math, 30lbs is 3.2 per week, 20 lbs is basically 2lbs per week… put that way, 20 is much more likely than 30).

Popularity: 15% [?]

Category : Eh... Whatever, Fatness, Me Dang It!

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