I need to preface this review by saying I have never read a book from cover to cover about parenting, much less specifically about fatherhood. I’ve been a father for over ten years now, but I admit that I have much to learn. So why haven’t I read a parenting book up to this point? I dunno. Maybe pride, maybe because I’ve done a pretty decent job so far, maybe I just haven’t found the right books to keep my attention. In any case, I wanted to give this one a fair shot.

The central concept of Influence Of A Father is the idea of transference: You can’t give away that which you do not have. As such, Tom focuses each chapter on two ideas. First, do you, the reader/father, own, practice, and reflect the Biblical value discussed in chapter; and second, once you do, how can you and why should you transfer it to your children.  This does open the door for some very base level discussions about values that I already hold to in my life. As such, I found myself skimming parts of some chapters that dealt with the heart of the reader rather than the art of transference. For this same reason, I barely touched the “Concluding Thoughts” at the end of each chapter, a two paragraph section focusing on self-evaluation questions.

This isn’t to say I skimmed parts of EVERY chapter; indeed, many of the values I thought I held were challenged and enhanced through this book. The three chapter section on Discipline, a subject I felt I have handled consistently and fairly throughout the years, illuminated areas within my disciplinary values that I had never thought through. Am I disciplining for the here and now only? or to instill life long values in my children? I hope the purpose is long term, but I also see definite times where the only thing I care about is getting the here and now controlled. While that is natural, it also opens the door for me to discipline when discipline is not really in order, or worse, to discipline without teaching and helping my children avoid mistakes in the future.

Other highlights include and outstanding chapter on mentoring and the role it plays in fathering. The wisdom in this chapter transcends fatherhood and can apply to any mentor relationship. Tom also provides a breakdown of unhealthy tendencies that fathers often embrace, how to find strength through partnership with your wife, and even what to do when kids go rogue (a discussion of the Prodigal Son parable).

From a standpoint of style, it is pretty predictable. Stories of his own childhood and fatherhood highlight his points, while scripture peppers the meat of his discussions. Tom is both straightforward and compassionate, understanding that fatherhood is a difficult task that many of us don’t feel up for, but he refuses to back down due to the heaviness our influence carries. All in all, it was a great read for me. I’m not too far along where I am set in my ways, and my eldest is not too far developed for me to fix some of the subtle things that I would like to do better. Besides, I still have two that are 5 or younger, and at least one more in the plans. My hope and prayer is that God will continue to impart wisdom into my life in order to see my children grow into the adults God desires them to be… God knows I can’t do it on my own!

Bottom Line: 4 out of 5 stars for content and usability.

T-Minus 5 Days until my 6th semester at Dallas Christian College takes off. Last semester had its highs and lows, with Life Science owning the lowest of low spots in the entire 2.5 years I’ve been at this. I am done with basics, only Major courses, Biblical Core, and Electives left. Here’s the lineup and commentary for the semester:

Greek I: Jan 11 – April 12 (Campus) - Major Requirement: Getting my Greek on! Here’s the problem with ministers who learn the languages: Unless you become a true scholar of the language, you only learn enough to sound smart in your sermons/lessons. Despite our familiarity with the phrase we hear uttered from the pulpit “the original Greek manuscript actually says…”, how many of us can remember any of those words or the point of the speaker. Let’s see… “agape” and maybe the other Greek words for love (eros, phileo)… I know a few more like “ekklesia” (church/gathering) and “kononia” (community), but that’s it. For me, I just want to know enough for my personal studies to where I can see subtleties in the language that may cause me to pause and say “alright, lets turn to the experts and see what they have to say.” I have a really good example of this, but it’d take a whole post to explain… maybe later.

Synoptic Gospels: Jan 15 – March 4 (Online) - Biblical Core: I was actually thinking last night about how much I want to go through the Gospels and dig into the actions of Christ in a deeper manner. He is my Rabbi, and I want his dust to cover me. I am still going to do this on my own, but having a class like the Synoptic Gospels will also give me an avenue to bring my personal study to a discussion setting. I haven’t seen the syllabus yet so this class may focus more on the three synoptic Gospels from a comparison/contrast point of view. In any case, more Jesus=good times.

Group Leadership: March 5 – April 29 (Online) - Major Requirement: No idea what I’m getting into here, but should be helpful for my long term ministry vision and life at work even. Good times…

Interpretation of the Old Testament: April 30 – June  17 (Online) - Biblical Core: Again, not sure what depth we’re going to get into this. It should be interesting because these are the types of things that can ruin a guy. In “bible school” and seminary, our championed approach to the Bible is very mechanical and scholarly. As such, we tend to downplay the experiential side of our faith. We have to be careful to find a balance. The scholarly approach is helpful, but if I live and die by it, my faith (which is hopefully vibrant and alive) may follow suit and become mechanical. That said, I know I miss tons of OT references when I read the NT, so I’d like to learn how to recognize those things more readily. I think this class will help.

Evangelism: April 30 – June 17 (Online) - Major Requirement: This is a timely class. I just finished one book on evangelism and one of the main focuses of 2010 for our church is going to be effective evangelism… -Of course that should always be in the scope of focus of a church, but hey, we need to reevaluate our approach this year-… One of the key elements about evangelism is understanding the purpose: to further the Kingdom by making disciples… not converts. I’ll be interested to see how this class handles our ever changing culture. Handing out tracts hasn’t worked for 35 years, but people still do it…

So there ya go. Send money…

*******************************
STATS:
General Core Semester Credits: 0
Major/Bible Core Semester Credits: 15
Elective Semester Credits: 0
Total Semester Credits: 15

General Core Credits Complete: 39 of 39 (100%) – W007! W007!
Major/Bible Core Credits Complete: 21 of 66 (32%)
Elective Credits Complete: 8 of 24 (33%)
Total Credits: 68 of 129 (53%)

Back in May, I posted about Freedom and how our definition of it is a little off-kilter, at least as it relates to our Spiritual Freedom in Christ. An opportunity to preach at our church presented itself last month, and after brainstorming with the Pastor, we decided to run with a sermonized version of the Freedom by Design post.

Converting it to a message was fairly straightforward for me because it’s something that is important to me. I really do think that our faulty definition of freedom keeps us from enjoying true freedom in Christ. But it’s also a subject that could take several paths, which you generally want to avoid in a one-shot sermon. So if you want to hear a more focused message piggy-backed off the original post,  take a listen…

… or is it?

eFriends Blake and Rick recently did a mind dump/resolution list for 2010.  I guess i’ll kick off my blog again in the same manner…

I’ve become a goal/vision oriented guy; I like spontaneity, and I hate scheduling certain aspects of my life, but I’ve realized that purpose drives action.  I am constantly re-evaluating where I am and where I am going. I hope (and try) to keep Christ at the center of both of those areas. I’ve targeted three high-level areas to focus on in 2010. Each area will in turn have several smaller areas of focus. Here are those three areas and where I’m currently at with each:

Health - This is where the “Same Ol’ Song and Dance” comes from. I can’t shake this one off the list. I need “Fat Rehab for Fat People who Aren’t Lazy But Just Never Work Out or Eat Right”… There is hope, though. Last year during a two month span I indeed lost 13 lbs (most of which I kept off). I know how I did it, and I have already re-implemented the plan.  This will again probably be a thorn in my side and a source of frustration… and as cliche as this is in the area of “resolutions,” I don’t want to look back 10 years from now and still dance right along to this same music.

Family - My first ministry is to my family. Of my three daughters, one is old enough to understand and live out the core of our faith as Christ followers. I want to foster growth and wisdom in her life. I want her to learn to tap into the spirit of generosity and love that God has woven into her very being. I will do this a variety of ways, but primarily through consistent study of scripture along side of her. This week, we will finish our study of Philippians.

We have also, as a family, started reading Bible stories together for the purpose of giving our middle daughter (who is five) a better understanding of why we are who we are and what God has to do with it all. I want to make sure that I do not ignore her needs as a young child simply because she can’t quite grasp as much as I want her too.

For both of these girls (and eventually the third when she is older, but not during 2010), I have had a standing goal of “dating my daughters” for several months now. I plan on making this a normal part of our lives.

For my wife, I want to see us grow together spiritually. Even after 10 years of marriage, we have so much to learn about each other. I want us to embrace God’s plan for our lives by responsibly cultivating our relationship with Him (together and individually), as well as through the constant sharpening of the gifts He has so graciously given us.  On an equally important note, I want to show her how much I cherish her. I think I fail to do this far too often.

Ministry Vision - I am a believer in Missional Living. Our design and identity as Christians is our design and identity at all times, regardless of situation, vocation, or church standing. It befits us to keep the Kingdom perspective at the forefront of our thoughts; we are created as vessels for Christ in the Kingdom of God (Eph 2:10).  It is God’s work in us, but we must be willing vessels. I want to make sure that my heart is soft and my spirit is willing to allow God to transform me into the specific vessel that He wants me to be in all areas of my life. I have a long way to go…

That said, I do feel strongly that the specific vision for ministry that He has placed on my heart will eventually lead me into a vocational ministry (honestly, I doubt I’d pay for an education in my field of study if I didn’t believe this). Until recently, the vision was muddy. Over the last few weeks, though, a specific sense of clarity and direction has flooded my heart. 2010 is a year to define, develop, and even implement part of this vision.

The rest of the story - Both within and outside of the context of the above areas, I have several other mind-trinkets I want to pursue and/or expand: Reading, writing, enabling, training, teaching, stretching, and so on…

All in all, I am honestly pumped for 2010. I feel more focused than I remember feeling in the past. I know I will go through peaks and valleys, but my trust and strength is in Christ. In fact, I know from my own personal history that if I put my trust and strength in me, I would have nothing to be pumped about… So, let’s enjoy the ride and see God work wonders in 2010.

It’s been several months, but I’m not dead yet (blogging wise) … rethinking / refreshing / refocusing … It’s cyclical, so I know i’ll be back soon.

Until then, I use this station when I write heavy finals papers and when I want to pray / focus on God. You should to: Instrumental “Post-Rock”

If you recall, in my World Religions class we have to watch a movie every week that depicts a certain aspect of the Religion we’re studying. Last week was 1971’s Fiddler on the Roof (yes, i’ve been trying to write this post for a week… work has been insane). Let’s count the things this movie immediately has working against it before I even popped it [...]

(I thought about posting a well thought out discussion on this, but instead, i’ll revert to sarcasm… Sometimes people are so gung ho with their view that “well thought out” carries very little weight)
//Begin Sarcasm
A few of the brainwashing notes President Obama is going to inflict our children with today (I put his lies in red because that is the color of satan, just to [...]

A while back, I moved my Logos Bible Study software from my wife’s laptop to my “new” personal laptop that a friend had given me.  Logos is a memory eater and heavy hitter on the processor. On my wife’s laptop it was almost unbearable to work with depending on what I wanted to do. Reading / searching is fine… breaking down Greek or cross-referencing several [...]

Yesterday marked the 5th “First” in our family… First Day of School that is. For our eldest, it was much of the same; after all, she’s going into 4th grade, and 4th graders are just a notch below Royalty in an Elementary School that kicks kids out after 5th grade. After a week long build-up of phone calls to friends comparing teachers and one fitful [...]

First, I read this in my RSS feed today from Ken Witcher… Good thought:
A cause that has that kind of impact is a cause worth dying for. But more importantly, it is a cause worth living for. Most of us don’t really live for the things we say we would die for.
– Ken Witcher
I think he is on to something there… stings but it’s [...]